My Little Love

I know, I know.

2012-02-21T09:21:00.000-08:00

Livia. I am basically OBSESSED with you!!! You are seriously the cutest, funniest little being. We love you like LOVE LOVE LOVE you! You are currently obsessed with your feet and I know that all babies do this but when you put them in your mouth it's the cutest thing I've ever seen. Every time I look at you, you smile and your eyes light up and crinkle. You love it when we imitate whatever it is you are doing, you think it's the funniest thing ever. And you love voices... I do a terrible impression of the cookie monster, but you love it and you talk to Coooooookie Monster every single day. We put you in your jolly jumper this week for the first time and you don't really know what to do with it - you definitely are not jumping, but you are very happy in it. I think you just like the new perspective it gives you! You look so grown up! When I'm nursing you, sometimes we play little games where you put your fingers up towards my face and I either kiss them or pretend to eat them and you just think it's hilarious. You also love us singing to you and dancing silly. I know I know. ALL BABIES DO THESE THINGS. I just never knew it would be this fun. I can't describe how much we love you and how fun you are!

When you were a newborn, I seriously couldn't HANDLE the fact that you were going to grow up and not be an itty bitty baby anymore. I loved that stage so much and every day was passing far too quickly for me. My heart was overwhelmed with you. I didn't know that you were just going to get more and more wonderful with each passing day. I know look forward to every day with you, every milestone, every month and every year. I can't believe how time is flying by. Everyone with kids says that, but it's so freaking true. I just can't get enough.

End baby gush.

My Baby Essentials

2012-01-22T13:50:00.000-08:00

Here are my must-have baby essentials... Livia approved. It is a long list, but I'd say 80% of things on this list were given to us, lent to us, or purchased second hand. Not all of these things are "essential" in the true sense of the word, but everything on this list has come in super handy for us, and I've been grateful that we had it! Here it goes!

For Hanging out at Home:

Bouncy seat/Vibrating chair. Oh my, not sure what we would've done without this. Livia LOVES her bouncy vibrating chair. It is SO handy to have. When we go over to friend's houses, we bring this along. And I can't tell you how many showers I have had with Livia in the bathroom sitting in this chair. When she was really little, she used to fall asleep in it all the time too. She's been in it since pretty much day 1, and now, 4 months later, she still is so happy in it. It's a great thing to put her when I'm puttering around the kitchen, or when we are eating. Super handy and bonus: super cheap (I've seen them at Zellers for $25).

I think she was about 2 days old here! Skinny little legs!!!

5 days old!

Swing. Ok so we never intended to really use a swing until we borrowed one from a friend....oh annnnnd it's the best thing ever. If Livia has been fed, slept, played with, loved to death, etc, and is STILL fussy? Swing time. Same thing goes for when I need to occupy her while I get ready for the day or if she's hungry and I need her to wait another 5 minutes. The swing works miracles. It's also a last resort option for when she won't nap. Never fails. She loves it and would sit in happily for hours if I let her.

4 months old

Play Mat. Preferably one with hangy things for her to reach for and grab at. Livia loves to play and kick and squirm all over the floor. Nana bought her play mat when she was about 2 months old and she is still getting a ton of play time out of it.

9 weeks old

For Nursing:

A good TV series to watch. Livia and I have been watching Parenthood since the week that she was born. I love me some Lauren Graham. It sucks that now that we are all caught up and have to wait a week in between episodes. Other TV series options include: One Tree Hill. Gilmore Girls. Lost. The 1st season of Prison Break (don't bother with the rest of the series).

Pinterest. Besides my iPhone and Facebook, Pinterest is the next best thing to occupy me for hours. I LOVE love love Pinterest.
Nursing Pillow. Ok, to tell you the truth, I used my nursing pillow more for when I was 6-9 months pregnant. Couldn't sleep without it between my legs or else my hips would hurt so much! But it totally comes in handy for it's intended use as well - support for nursing. But I'm telling you: best thing ever for big ole pregnant ladies.
Nursing cover. Hooter Hiders are the best invention EVAH. I feel comfortable nursing her just about anywhere, and trust me, this comes in very handy.
A great breast pump. Everyone knows that you need to spend the extra money and just get a Medela. It's like the Dyson of breast pumps. We haven't been so lucky as to have a baby who loves a bottle (note to self: introduce the next baby to the bottle WAY earlier), but it's come in handy for times that my boobs were so full I thought they would burst (TMI, I know). We'll have more babies, so I'm sure that the pump will not go to waste. And we'll keep trying with the bottle - it's nice to know that there is breast milk in the freezer for Livia if there ever were an emergency and I wasn't able to be there to feed her.

For the Nursery:

A Mobile. Livia has been totally entertained by her mobile since she was about 4 weeks old - it was the first thing that ever truly grasped her attention. She clasps her hands and squeals in delight when I turn it on for her. I only wish I didn't have to wind it up every 3 minutes or so.

(6 weeks old)

Wipes Warmer. Kind of a luxury item, yes. But how wonderful is it for both me and baby to have a nice warm wipe for the cutest little bum in the cold winter months? This would make a great baby gift. I never would have bought one and am SO glad a friend gave me hers. We all love it and feel annoyed when we are out and have to resort to cold wipes. Yuck.
Super soft/fuzzy change table cover. I am convinced that Livia loves getting her diaper changed because the cover for her change table pad is so soft and cozy. Diaper changes are her favourite thing ever. Crazy kid! And again, a good winter essential.

(4 months old, getting ready for bath time on her comfy change pad! Look at her super cute baby body!)

Some kind of white noise device. Livia's room is right off the main living room and kitchen which is super inconvenient when she goes to bed at 7:30. We use a couple things to block out noise: a heater/fan for her room, which doubles as white noise and works to keep it nice and cozy in there (and cool in the summer). We also have a Prince Lion Heart Slumber Bear that makes comforting "womb"noises whenever she fusses, and I think it helps her soothe back to sleep.
A great recliner or comfortable chair with a footrest/ottoman. This might be my number one baby essential!!! We took back three chairs before we finally broke down and spent a few extra dollars on a really comfortable rocking recliner and let me tell you, I have NO regrets. I have slumbered many hours on that thing, and it is by far the easiest, most comfortable place in the house to nurse Livia. If you keep your eyes peeled, you can probably get a great comforter on kijiji. We got ours on supersale at Leons and it was a pain in the butt to pick up and bring home (my trusty Dad and I borrowed a friends truck and brought it home in the midst of a thunderstorm one night), it was well worth it. Don't skimp on the chair, friends!

See how zonked out they are? Daddy and Livia - not quite 3 weeks old

A good baby monitor! I don't actually use ours at home because I can hear Livia just fine, but it's come in super handy when we've been away, sleeping in a larger home. A must have.
Curtains that do a half decent job of blocking out daylight. Livia just sleeps better during the day when the curtains are drawn. It's not pitch black in there, but they definitely make a huge difference and help her sleep better and longer than when she sleeps in a brightly lit room. I also like differentiating between "sleep" and "awake" times, and when she wakes up from the night or a nap, I like to open the curtains and make it obvious that it is awake time.

Diaper Genie. Again, this was given to us, and it's SUCH a great thing to have. Livia's room never stinks and trust me... it should. I've heard from friends that it's best to just go with the Diaper Genie name brand, and not try anything else... your call.

For Going Out:

An easy-to-use, light weight stroller. We love our Maxi Cosi stroller. It's basically an umbrella stroller with a travel system (i.e. the car seat attaches to it), and it's perfect for a smaller person like me. It's super light weight, small, and manoeuvres around way better than a big honkin' massive stroller. My only problem with it is that the storage basket in the bottom is pretty much useless, but I can work around that. Whatever stroller you get, make sure it has a coffee cup holder. Very important.

Out for a walk - in JANUARY!! Not quite 4 months old.

A lightweight car seat. Again, we're really happy with our Maxi Cosi. When she was lighter, I used to carry her around a lot with just her car seat, and it was nice to not have a super heavy seat. It clicks in and out super easy too, and it's a good travel system for the money. It was about as high end as we could afford. I also like that it's just black, because that's how I roll.

2 weeks old, at her first doctor's visit

Car seat cover for the winter. Oh, seriously, this was a good buy. Again, another awesome baby gift if you need an idea. It's been awesome for our nasty weather and keeps her warm and cozy and protected from the wind. ESSENTIAL!!!

Around 3 months old

A diaper bag that you LOVE. Because it goes with you, EVERYWHERE for a really long time.... even when you're just running to the grocery store and baby isn't even with you (it's just easier than transferring your stuff to a purse!!). Here is mine - check out all those pockets!

A portable change pad (to put in said diaper bag) that has pockets for diapers and wipes - super handy for when you find yourself in super random places and you're forced to change your baby's diaper on a disgusting dirty floor. Throw some baby friendly anti bacterial wipes in one of those pockets while you're at it....
Play Pen. Ok so I don't think Livia has actually slept in her play pen because everywhere we go our friends have one, and they just set it up for us. But we have set up our play pen countless times for Livia's little baby friends who come over! It's an essential, yes, because I'm sure there will be times that we go somewhere and our hosts won't have a playpen. But I am SO glad that we didn't spend a whole bunch of money on this (someone gave us one). Cheap out on this one, but still buy one. It's handy to have. At some point, I'll probably just throw ours in the back of our car so that we always have it if we need it.

Newborn Clothes:

I needed WAY less than I thought. Before baby is born, I would say you only need a max of 8-10 newborn sized sleepers, and then the same amount of 0-3 month sleepers... wait until baby is born to see what you get for gifts and THEN supplement whatever else you think you need. Sleepers are the way to go for those first 3 months. She basically lived in them (and still does). It's incredible how fast they go through them too, and I cried the day I put away all her newborn - 3 month stuff!!!

A few little outfits, OF COURSE! But again, you will get so many gifts, so try to go easy until baby is born. Nothing wrong with a few splurges though!
A few onesies - not a million, like I bought! They are handy to have - now that it's so cold out, I will often put a onesie underneath whatever she is wearing... and in the summertime, maybe that's all baby would need to wear. Anyway, I just didn't realize that sleepers were way more convenient than a onesie, and now I know. So that's that.
Halo Sleep Sack! Seriously - so smart!!! I am not comfortable with Livia sleeping with blankets (when she does sleep with a light blanket, without fail I find her later on with it draped across her face, and it just makes me nervous!). A sleep sack keeps her warm and prevents her from moving all around her crib at night. Another GREAT no-regrets purchase!
Socks, baby mittens (for scratching), and newborn hats... all essential!

Miscellaneous:

A bassinet for the first few weeks (or however long you want to keep baby in your room, if you choose to do so). I loved having Livia sleep right beside us for the first 8 weeks. It might not be for everyone, but it was great for me. I missed her so much when we transferred her to her room, but it turned out to be the best thing ever - she started sleeping through the night the very same day we switched her to her crib. But I wouldn't trade those first few weeks for anything.

2 days old

Blankets. But people LOVE to give blankets as gifts, so don't go crazy buying them.
Receiving blankets. Different than above... lightweight and the bigger the better, these are used for everything from swaddling, to laying on top of the really nice crib set you purchased because you don't want the really nice crib set to get dirty (I know I know), or for when you forgot your nursing cover, or for when baby spits up all over you.... they are ESSENTIAL, and not necessarily used to keep baby WARM, which is what regular blankets are for!

A really great stain remover. Shout does the trick, but for really good stains, I use Pink Solution. It's amazing.
An infant bath tub. It just makes bath time SO much easier, and they are cheap. Mine has a thermometer too so I know that I am not making the bath water too hot. Once we started Livia on a more solid routine this month, she has a quick bath almost every single night before bed, and an infant bath tub is a life saver for the back.

6 weeks old - I LOVE this face!

Coffee. You will need it. My current fav: Salt Spring Island West Coast Blend (the best deal is at Costco). Oh I love coffee.

3 months. My typical morning set up!

A Baby Book AND a Baby Calendar! I keep my little baby calendar out all the time so that I can write in all of her firsts and other important little details of our day and month. It is such a special thing to have. Plus I really love the stickers. I'm 9 like that.
A great camera. Learn how to use it, and you won't regret it.

A few things we are just starting to use:

Sophie the Giraffe. Livia isn't quite teething yet, so I can't say that Sophie is an essential from experience. I just know these things. Every baby needs a Sophie. We have a Sophie teething ring and a full sized Sophie - both were gifts. I'm sure you'll get 7 of them.
Baby Bullet. I haven't used it yet (about a month and a half away), but I'm so excited to make my own baby food. I just can't trust the canned stuff, and with all the recent recalls from even popular organic lines, I'm so glad I can have peace of mind and make pure food from real ingredients.
Bumbo. Super handy, and convenient for feeding her when she does start eating real food!
Exersaucer. She's a bit small for it yet but we try it out every now and then.

One baby item that many parents probably consider essential is a baby carrier, like a Baby Bjorn or ErgoBaby. I am so disappointed that I JUST missed the steal on www.babysteals.com last week for an Ergo that was 50% off (still $70, so not cheap!). I think a carrier would be super handy to have, especially if you have a spring or summer baby where you are outside a lot. We passed on this for Livia, but I think it is something we'll buy for Janzen Baby #2.

One last baby essential that I was SO blessed to have was good friends that brought us dinner three nights a week until the end of October! This was amazing and such a life saver. On top of that, I had a whole bunch of freezer meals in my freezer ready to go - DO THIS. Seriously, do this. And pat yourself on the back a million times if you do it when you're 38 weeks pregnant like I did (but oh so worth it)!

Layered Chicken Almondine - my go-to comfort casserole!

And the final baby essential? A baby. Hopefully one as cute and fun and sweet and perfect as ours!!!!

Some of our latest pictures from January (4 months as of Jan 11):

4 months old!

2012-01-13T11:51:00.001-08:00

How is this sweet little baby actually mine?!! I am so blessed!

Christmas Update and Napping Issues

2012-01-03T10:07:00.000-08:00

Warning: this post will take you from the happiest baby in the whole world to the saddest cry you ever did hear when I try to put her down for a nap. We're a little bit all over the place today!

Just over one year ago (Jan 1, 2011), we got the greatest, most terrifying and most exciting news ever: we were having a baby. I remember driving home from SK on New Years Day after two weeks of holidays, and I was quiet the whole drive home. I knew the first thing I was going to do when I got home was take a pregnancy test. I didn't say anything to Kevin because I could hardly handle my own anticipation, let alone both of us bouncing in our seats the whole 5 hour drive home.

It is such a surreal thing to take a pregnancy test... the seconds it takes for the little blue lines to show up feels like an eternity and then when it shows up positive, the world around you pauses and waits for it to sink in. Even though we had been trying to create a little being for several months, it still felt totally unbelievable and impossible. I think I continued to feel this way all the way up until we had her. The way our bodies work to create little humans is miraculous. I feel honoured to have been given this gift to carry and grow our child within me - what a great and creative God I serve. Being pregnant with Livia, meeting her and spending her first 3 months with her made 2011 the most wonderful year of my life. I can't imagine a better year, and yet I know it just gets better and better. We feel so blessed.

Livia is my delight. I continue to have moments where tears well up within me and my heart becomes overwhelmed with love for her. I suppose this will last forever.

I actually cannot believe how fast time has passed, and how quickly Livia changes. Just yesterday she was a sleepy tiny newborn, and now, 3 months later she is an active, chatty, happy drooly little doll. She is so expressive and she adores attention. Give her two seconds of your time and she will be smiling and cooing (or squealing/screaming in delight) at you, capturing your heart. Kevin and I often marvel how we could watch her for hours, and she would get bored before we did. She prefers to lay on the floor where she can kick and squeal than to be held close and tight. I suppose that's why I love nursing so much - I get my cuddles and snuggles in then. Right now as I write this blog she is at my feet making sweet sing songy baby noises and smiling and looking around and cooing. And drooling of course - we've started putting a bib on her at all times so that she doesn't go through 9 sleepers a day. She is so happy, it's ridiculous (however if I dared to put her in her crib, shut the lights off and leave the room, she wouldn't be so happy... which I'm about to do in oh, 10 minutes or so - that will be a different story).

Christmas with our baby girl made the holidays even more special. Obviously she had no idea what was going on, and it was really more about us than her this year. We were the ones that felt so spoiled and so blessed by her - we feel like we got the greatest gift of all. In years to come Christmas will be so much fun. Kids change everything, as I learned from Kayden and Haylie. They make everything come to life.

We just came back from two weeks of Christmas holidays where Livia was totally spoiled by her grandparents, aunties and uncles. We spent the first week in Saskatoon and the second week on the farm in Carman. In Saskatoon we saw a lot of people and had a fun filled busy Christmas week with friends and family. In MB we were totally low key and relaxed, watching movies and playing games. Both weeks we ate way too much and slept in pretty much every day. Awesome.

It wasn't all awesome though. For one thing, any sort of "schedule" that we did have going on was completely thrown out the window. Things just weren't the same. Livia seemed to know that we were not at home and seemed thrown off for the first few days. She also began waking up at 3 or 4 am and this continued most of the holidays (super). Also, she didn't poop. The first week she didn't poop for 6 days and the second week she didn't poop for 5. Livia seriously explodes every day, so this was super weird. Since we've been home, she has been pooping up a storm every day again. I know adults say they are thrown off when they are not at home, but babies? I was surprised. And thirdly, related to my first point, not only was the loose schedule we did have thrown off, but I created some bad habits with her... the worst one probably, napping WITH her during the day, in bed. That, or holding/nursing her to sleep for all her naps. Whoops. So now we've come home and we have a baby who no longer sleeps through the night and is a crappy napper. At least she is a crapper though, right?!

Now I really can't complain... the fact that my baby only wakes up once a night is still pretty incredible. When she wakes up, she eats for about 10, 15 minutes and is back to sleep for the rest of the night. It's the crappy napping during the day that gets me, and I know it's my fault for letting her fall into a bad habit that I created. So the last couple of days Kevin and I have tried some new methods that do involve small bouts of crying.... my heart can't let her cry much longer than 5 or 10 minutes at a time, but I just pat her back to comfort her until she is quiet, or pick her up, comfort her for a few minutes, and put her back down again (annnnd repeat 800 times). So far, it's not really working but I know babies crave consistency, so I'm giving it a few days. I just need to be better at not giving in (I know that if I nurse her she'll be asleep in 5 minutes.... it's soooo tempting. I KNOW she is tired!!!). The Baby Whisperer states that at 4 months, babies should be getting 2 naps in at 2-3 hours each. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? She sleeps about 20 minutes 2 x a day. So I must work harder at this. It's totally heartbreaking to listen to her sad cry though. Poor baby girl!

The fact that she is so happy during the day, regardless of her lack of naps, makes me wonder if I should be bothering with this. But I think in the long run, my baby needs to know how to go to sleep on her own and be able to self soothe. She's just getting older and I don't want to keep reinforcing a bad habit of nursing her to sleep all the time. So hopefully we'll just have a few bad days. It's a good week for this.... after being away for 2 weeks, I desire nothing more than to hibernate this week.

Well any suggestions you have for daytime napping, I would gladly hear you out. I am not at the point where I will completely allow her to cry it out for long periods of time, but I suppose eventually it might come to that. She doesn't take a soother, so that is out too. Would love to hear your suggestions.

Her crying is currently subsiding into little whines......... crossing my fingers here, crossing my fingers!

I think I am going to blog our schedule for the next few days, as I commit this week to my own little take on the Baby Whisperer's EASY method. This will help me stay on track, stay committed and work out the patterns that Livia and I follow throughout the day. Hopefully by the end of this week we will have made some progress!!!

And in other news, I have a really great week of meals planned, with groceries bought and everything. I am almost tempted to start up the old delish blog again.... but for your own information, I started with this little number last night: Chicken Teriyaki in the slow cooker. It was awesome. There is a lot of sugar in it, so I substituted it for some splenda and brown sugar, and it still had too much sugar for me, but once in awhile, this is a good dinner option! Oh and I also doubled the sauce and it was a perfect amount. Yum!

2011-12-02T09:53:00.000-08:00

I can hear my little boo squirming in my bed right now... she's been awake for at least 10 minutes, but is keeping herself busy with stretches and face scrunches while she wakes up. Oh how much we love her!

I absolutely love our morning routine. Morning and bedtime are pretty much the only time of day that we actually have any type of consistent schedule and it's great. Livia wakes up every day between 6:30 - 7:30 am, and Kevin gets up to greet her. She is ultra cute when she first wakes up, and Kevin gets all her morning smiles and coos and squeals. He changes her diaper and lets her dance a bit on her change table (pretty much her favourite place to be - clean, naked and free. I think we have a 60's child on our hands). Once she realizes she is hungry, Kevin brings her straight to me where I am still all bundled up in bed. We are all business at that point - no coos for Mommy. So I feed her and we both fall asleep while doing so. She usually sleeps until about 10 am which is freaking awesome. I get the choice every morning to either sleep in or get up and have a few minutes of just me time. You can probably guess which one I choose most mornings.

So I love mornings now that I am not up at 6 am and leaving for work on the icy winter roads at 7:15 am. Ugh, never again. Okay at least for 9 more months (I just can't imagine).

But we are definitely not home every morning, and when we do go out, Livia always misses her morning sleep ins. But as long as she is fed and dry, she is generally happy. I just follow her lead and watch for her cues that it's nap time. She is not the best napper, unless we are out and she is strapped in her car seat - seriously, she will sleep for 4 hours in the afternoon if we are out shopping. But if we're at home, she might sleep for 45 minutes. She is the opposite of a difficult baby though, and even if she only sleeps for 45 minutes in the afternoon, she is still pretty content. As long as she has her fist to eat and is allowed to kick and squeal, she is happy as a clam. I couldn't have asked for a better baby.

Evenings are generally her fussier time of the day. She wants to eat more often and complains and whines more. We had our first not-so-good evening out on Monday night and it was the first time I was frustrated with her. And actually, I was more frustrated with myself because the night could have been perfect had I just started pumping and learning how to bottle feed the week prior. There was a ladies Christmas banquet at our church, and I had arranged a table of 10 with my friends. Instead, I spent most of the evening by myself in the nursing mothers room, then scarfing down my dinner (I don't even know what I ate), then again by myself in the back of the gym feeding her once again - it was just annoying. If I had learned how to use my pump, I could've bottle fed her and not missed a thing.

So yah, maybe this week :) One thing about my baby - she LOVES to eat.

We have been super busy the last couple days.... car shopping, Christmas shopping, friends over for lunch, small group, Christmas party tonight and another one tomorrow night.... then Livia and I are off to Saskatoon on Sunday morning for the Elim Christmas production where she will star as baby Jesus for 2 shows. Following in her mommy's footsteps I might add. She's a bit old for the part, but she'll be cute. She just rolls with the punches and comes along with us for all the rides we take her on. What a little muffin head.

She started rolling over last week... and this week I have noticed that she is starting to reach out and grab things - my shirt or her outfit, or whatever is in her reach. One of her favourite things is when we sing to her. Kevin sings her silly songs (I can't believe how many he knows!) and I sing whatever. She squeals along and thinks its the best thing ever. I also love to calm her down by putting her face right up next to mine and make little sing-song-y noises quietly in her ear - she loves it. She gets scared easily, like when Kevin slams a door too loudly... and he is a particularly loud sneezer... her scared cry is the cutest. I love her scrunched up sad face and big pout. This is such a mommy blog. Blah.

Ok so if you're all tired of me talking about how perfect and wonderful and happy and sweet my baby is, I hear ya. But she is, sooooo yeah.

And the cherry on top? She continues to sleep through the night. Every night, from around 10:30 pm - 6:30 am. Since she was 8 weeks old. Helllllo! Who am I that I should deserve this?!

2 months old

2011-11-11T10:57:00.000-08:00

Livia is two months old today! Best two months of my life. Best two months of her life :)

Everyone is sleeping (everyone being the hubs and the baby) and I am sitting in my favourite spot - the recliner in her nursery, where I can watch her sleep (I know, creepy) through the slats in her crib (even creepier). I am in wonder of her sometimes. Is it possible that she loves us as much as we love her? Can a two month old feel love? I don't know for sure, but it definitely feels like it when she smiles up at us. It feels like love radiates from her face. Or maybe she's just happy, I'm not sure :)

We've been working a little bit on the Eat, Activity, Sleep pattern. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't (in other words, some days I try harder than others). She continues to sleep throughout the night the majority of the time, regardless of any pattern we follow throughout the day, and let me tell you - that works for me. She also continues to easily fit into our daily lives, whether that means a day out of errands or a relaxing day in.

We continue to let her fall asleep in our arms. Bad mommy. Must get over that. Someday....

Today we are going to look at used cars because we are no longer loving the one car family situation! We make it work, but it's such a pain. I despise the two door car scenario that we are currently sporting and I hate not being able to just "run out" at any given time. If I want to get a jug of milk, Kevin and I have to arrange our day around it. Annoying.

My mom was with us this last week for some medical appointments, and it was so awesome having her. Kevin and I even went on our first date since she was born, leaving Livia with my mom for just a couple hours. We just went out to Earls for dinner and then to Chapters to wander around afterwards. I am definitely seeing why it would be beneficial to start pumping now - oh it would be so handy. For some reason, I am nervous to start and I keep putting it off. Perhaps that'll be a goal to accomplish next week.

Speaking of goals for next week, I have to accomplish this particular DIY project that I discovered on Pinterest:

http://www.imbusyprocrastinating.com/2011/06/design-solution-wall-baskets-for-bath.html

Love love love. Perfect for our downstairs bathroom! Look at me becoming all crafty. I always dreamed of being crafty mom. I simply must purchase myself a glue gun. I suppose I shouldn't call myself crafty until I actually accomplish a project, rather than just Pin It. Right.

Annnnnnnyway, just wanted to check in and say Happy 2 month Birthday to our sweet pea. We love you more than we ever thought possible!

6 to 8 weeks

2011-11-05T23:33:00.000-07:00

(photos taken at 7.5 weeks old)

So it's 11:20 pm, and I know this is silly, but tonight is only the second night I have put Livia to bed in her crib, in her own room. She is 8 weeks old tomorrow. I absolutely love having her in our room, in her little baby bassinet, so close that I can hear every little noise she makes. I guess putting her in her crib means she is just another step older which I always have a hard time dealing with!

The last two weeks she has grown up all over again. She is talking and smiling SO much. We got her a mobile and she is utterly delighted by it. Today my Mom bought her a play mat with dangly toys above her head and she played by herself for a good half hour.... a few times throughout the day! Mom bought it rather "illegally", making the deal with the lady inside the 2nd hand children's store, when the store wouldn't take the play mat because they already had too many. So they took it outside, and we got it for a sweet deal. And Livia couldn't be happier to have something colourful to talk to. She is such a happy baby, I sometimes can't believe it.

Week 6 was a week of a few milestones. She was dedicated on Oct 23 with 8 of her little church baby friends. Grandma and Grandpa Janzen came out for it, along with Auntie Tara and Uncle Carey. It was a fun weekend for sure. This was the week that she also really truly started cooing and talking so much - really REALLY responding to us. She also went to her first late night movie - Courageous, at 9:40 pm. She was a star, sleeping through the whole thing.

Towards the end of week 6 and the beginning of week 7 she went through a major growth spurt... feeding constantly, not sleeping, fussy, diaper rash, and just not herself. It lasted about 3 days and then she was back to her sweet little self... albeit she definitely grew up some, now a little person with a few more demands, the knowledge of how to make those demands known, more awake time, and bigger smiles than ever.

When she was 7 weeks, she went on her first Project Retreat, out to "The Ranch" with 40 of her closest young adult friends. We love going out to the ranch - for Kevin, it's work (but all relational work), and for me, it's relaxing. I get to have someone else cook for me, I sleep in a king sized bed, and I get to just hang out in a beautiful home. Livia was pretty popular. She got in lots of cuddles with strangers, and I love that she is comfortable with that. This could change of course, but for now, I'm glad that I can hand her off without much concern. She was still in her little growth spurt over the weekend, which made her a bit more grumpy than normal, but we pulled through just fine.

(playing with auntie wendy at the ranch)

Also at 7 weeks, her new little buddy, Logan, was born! We are so excited for our friends, and Logan and Livia look awfully cute together. Just sayin'.

Oh, and of course, she also had her first Halloween.... I cheated and put her in her little bear thing and called her a Bear for Halloween. But I think she enjoyed handing out candy to the whole 7 kids that came to our door. Lame.

She turns 8 weeks old tomorrow and I'm finally feeling comfortable with the idea of a schedule. I have really let her set her own schedule which luckily has been working well for us (if it hadn't been like this, I would've been on this schedule thing way sooner). But she's older now and I think its time to tweak a few things - she is suddenly less consistent. I used to know what to expect from her, and I am finding lately that this just isn't the case anymore. So it's time for a change. I usually let her sleep right after a feeding (if she wants to), but I want to start trying the whole Eat-Activity-Sleep pattern instead. Because she has been so good, a schedule hasn't been a huge priority to me. She has been consistently sleeping through the night, waking up only around 6:30 am or 7 am for a feeding, and then back to sleep sometimes til 9 or 10 am. I've started just the last couple days to put her to bed earlier, which has thrown things off a bit - last night she was up at 3:30 am, something I haven't had to face in weeks! But she fed and went back to sleep within 45 minutes, woke up at 7 for a feeding, and again back to sleep for most of the morning. I'm not sure how to incorporate Eat, Awake, Sleep for the morning routine because I like how she sleeps til 10 am... do I make her stay awake after her 7 am feeding, just because the schedule says to? Will I screw up the rest of the day if I let her go right back to sleep? Not sure yet, but I'll figure it out along the way.

Last week I started Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. I have 10 lbs to go to be back at my pre-preggo weight, and I'm hoping to lose 10 lbs on top of that. Meh, I have been saying that for years. But I definitely need to be at my pre-pregnancy weight for sure to get my full wardrobe back! I am SO glad I bought two pairs of in-between jeans though -they have been a life saver. So far I haven't been cheating on Jillian, and have worked out every day... besides day 2 when I was so sore that I could barely walk up the stairs. I'll report on this again after 30 days... 30 days is nothing, right? Right. My favourite thing Jillian says is "You don't get these abs for free, people!" amongst other perfectly timed motivating statements. She always knows what to say.

My mom arrived yesterday and is here with us until Wednesday morning, and as usual, she is such a blessing. We love having Nana here, and my mom is marvelling at how much Livia has changed. The last time Mom was with her was in Saskatoon between weeks 3 and 4. She was just a newborn then. Now she is such a baby. Huge difference!!! We bought curtains for Livia's nursery and we're still deciding if we like them or not...such major life decisions, I know. This is my world right now, people.

Livia is absolutely beautiful and perfect. I could have a million babies if they were all like her, but I suppose they won't be. I'll probably get a terror baby next! She is easy and I feel pretty blessed. Obviously she needs lots of attention, and it's not like she never cries. It's just that usually her cry is for something specific and when that need is filled, she is good to go. I still feel tired a lot - someone needing me all the time can definitely start to weigh on a person, and I go to bed way too late - but I know it could be much much worse. We've also gotten into the bad habit of holding her until she falls asleep which is one I want to break. It's hard though when I absolutely love my baby cuddles and especially my sleeping baby cuddles. She will go to sleep on her own sometimes, but not always - she is currently on my lap since she woke up after just 20 minutes of sleeping (when I had put her down with intentions of her sleeping through the night). She's sleeping again, but I know I have to put her down in a few minutes and who knows if that'll wake her up or not. Yes, a schedule is sounding more and more like a great thing :)

Anyway, once again I have to apologize that this blog is no longer witty and funny. At least I recognize the fact that I have become completely uninspiring :)

catching up

2011-10-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

I have written countless blogs since Livia was born.... in my head. I hate that she is almost 6 weeks old and I haven't been keeping up. But right now she is fully fed, burped, clean and sleeping soundly beside me in our bed on a cozy Thursday morning, and I figured now would be a perfect time to catch up. Oh but where to start? Oh, how about with an adorable picture of her perfect little lips?

One thing that has stopped me from writing is that I don't want to have a boring Mommy-blog. But at the same time, I have to remind myself that I write this for me, and for her! So if my blogs become all, "Livia slept from 10 - midnight, and up again at 4 and back to sleep til 8:30", then I've become a boring Mommy-blogger and I apologize. Um, so get ready.

With that said. Livia slept from 10 pm to 4:00 am last night (yep, there it is - boring Mommy blogger. Deal with it!). She has always been a good sleeper, the first few weeks of her life getting up twice in the night, and for the last 3 weeks just once. Normally she doesn't actually go down for the night until around midnight, but last night's experiment of putting her down wide awake at 10 pm worked magically. Lately I have been putting her down for naps while she is still awake - sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I'm okay with that.

I have been wrong about many, many things. I'm okay with that too :) I thought I would be far more strict on schedules, sleeping, feeding, etc, and I have been so opposite of that. I definitely will get to that, in fact, probably sooner rather than later now that she will be 6 weeks on Sunday. But until now, I have fed her on demand (which she has pretty much put herself on a schedule for anyway and is completely predictable), and she sleeps when she sleeps. Sometimes in my arms, sometimes in her bassinet, sometimes zonked out on a blanket on the floor. She still sleeps in our room in her bassinet, and Kevin is already ready to have her sleep in her crib, but I don't think I could sleep at night with her SO far away (haha).

As for feeding, the first week or so she was SUCH a sleepy eater that I worried she wasn't getting enough. I even brought her in to the nurses to have her weighed and to talk about feeding and pooping (love how that has become a normal topic of conversation!) when she was a week old. But at her first doctor's appointment at 2 weeks old, she had gained 1 lb and the doctor reassured me that things were going perfectly. He told me that he expects babies to have gained 80 -100 g at two weeks old - and that she had gained 400 (I'm not sure if it was grams or what...anyway that was besides the point)! Sleepy eater or not, she was definitely getting enough. Now she eats like a champ, and like I said, she has got her own schedule going which is working beautifully for us - she is totally predictable, and I almost always know what to expect.

She has been busy since she was born. She has been on two flights already, and visited Saskatoon and Calgary at 3 weeks and 4 weeks old. She was a total superstar on both flights, handling the whole thing better than me. I was a little bit overloaded with luggage, baby gear and oh, a baby, and had total strangers offering to help me. I will never bring so much crap with me again with a baby - oh but crap is kind of inevitable when traveling with a newborn. I'll definitely be bringing Kevin next time. We missed him way too much anyway.

Our two weeks away was awesome. At 3 weeks old, we spent the week in Saskatoon. First week without daddy went as good as it could have gone. I let her sleep with me in my big cozy bed at my parents house once or twice, which is definitely not a regular habit we'll be getting ourselves into - but the bed was so big without Kevin, and Livia was lonely in her play pen beside me. She told me so. My mom was amazing, as usual, and changed countless diapers, got up in the morning with Livia so I could sleep a bit longer, and was just generally a perfect Grandma. My dad was out of town until Wednesday, and I was so excited to introduce her to him when he finally came home. He ended up spending a little extra time with us when he unexpectedly ended up in Calgary with us the following week (family funeral), drove us home to Edmonton, and then his car broke down just as he was leaving for Saskatoon - I'm not going to lie, I loved having Papa here with us too :)

It was so fun to introduce Livia to her big cousins who are suddenly SO big and mature. Haylie is quite in love with her baby cousin, and Livia inspired her curiosity with questions she had never thought of before - Where does the baby come out of? How does the baby come out? All the while, my mom and sister looking at me, saying, yeah, Kristin, how does it all work? No support. My favourite comment from Haylie was when we were about to sit down for dinner, and Haylie wanted to help by getting the baby some food (she calls Livia "the baby" all the time). So we had to explain how the baby gets her food which later included a live example to curb her curiosity. She just took it all in like it was no big deal at all. I love my niece and nephew. Kayden was less obviously in love (I wouldn't expect otherwise from an almost 9 year old little boy), but had his own moments of endearment. He picked out a sleeper for her and couldn't wait for me to put it on her. So so cute.

We had a busy week in Saskatoon, with a shower for her on Thursday night, more visitors Friday night, and Thanksgiving dinner Saturday night. Sunday, Livia and I were off to Calgary to meet her great grandparents, great aunties and uncles, and second cousins for another Thanksgiving dinner. We stayed at Auntie Leanne's, who got in a LOT of cuddles. The only problem with Livia meeting her family is that her family really misses her when she goes home! Livia also went to her first funeral for my great auntie (which kept us in Calgary longer than expected) and althought it was a sad occasion, I was glad she got to meet almost all her extended family.

After two weeks away and only a couple days spent with her daddy, we were very excited to come home. I was concerned that after two weeks of being constantly held and cuddled by adoring family and friends that she would be totally accustomed to that and want to be held all.the.time, but she has been good. I would lose my sanity if she needed to be held 24/7. But I sure love our cuddles and we have a LOT of cuddle time.

This week she is 5 weeks old. I can't believe what a change I am seeing in her. But I actually say that every week! I think around 4 weeks old (the week in Calgary) she really changed from feeing like a newborn to a baby. I guess she went from sleeping basically ALL the time, to sleeping a little bit less (she still sleeps a heck of a lot), finding her voice, and getting stronger (and bigger). I think around this time she also started responding to my voice and looking around for me when she heard me speak. My mom also got her first genuine smile while she was in Saskatoon - legit smile, I promise.

This week we are enjoying time spent as a little family again. We realized that was have barely been alone since she has been born, and although the help has been amazing, we also love figuring out life just the three of us. I am absolutely loving it. More family is coming this weekend, as Livia is being dedicated on Sunday. She'll get to meet her Auntie Tara and Uncle Carey too (she met her Uncles Darryl and Garrett in Calgary last week). We made up birth announcements for her and picked those up from Costco yesterday, so I'm hoping to get started on the many many MANY thank-yous that need to be distributed!

I can't believe how much we love her little face. I think just about every day Kevin and I ask each other if it's possible that she is cuter than yesterday. I am glad I got over the "crying every time I look at her because I love her so much" stage - life is far more manageable now that I can go on in a normal fashion. I feel like the transition of our little family from 2 to 3 was so natural... if this makes sense, it's like it was no big deal at all! It just all feels so right and so normal to have her with us. And so fun. I always get excited when she wakes up from a nap because I kind of miss her when she is sleeping... but I do love when she sleeps as well!

I should probably spend this next hour or so while Livia is still sleeping wisely, so I'm off to shower (ahem, I HAVE showered every single day since she has been born, just sayin') and get this house ready for visitors tomorrow. Hopefully this post will end the blogging hiatus, and I'll be a little more regular with it, which also will help with the "mass" information posts which I hate so much. I may have to come to terms with the fact that I could be a little bit more boring mommy now that baby is here, but I assure you, my life has never been richer than it is now. Hopefully that will be obvious in blogs to come :)

Livia Anne Janzen, born Sept 11, 2011

2011-09-15T16:59:00.000-07:00

I have to start off by saying I can't believe how in love I am with our little girl. Nothing could have prepared me for how much I love her. She is such sweet and utter perfection and it's so surreal to believe she is ours. How on earth did we create something so incredible? She truly is God's little masterpiece. I am so thankful. I get incredibly sad when I think of her growing up. I want her to stay like this forever. Even when I look at babies a few months old I get sad to think that will be my newborn in no time at all. I suppose I am just going to have to get over it though... I'll just keep on having more babies if they are all as wonderful as her!

I have been kicking myself for not blogging until now. I keep trying to... but somehow Miss Livia is getting most of my attention these days. I have been trying to do all sorts of things for days... call EI, upload pictures, send an email to work, nap, make her first paediatrician appointment, and get through the breastfeeding chapter in my book. So much to do, so little time to do it all!

So I should start from where I left off. Of course Livia just started crying and probably wants to feed, so this may be fragmented... story of my life from now on perhaps?

Friday continued on just as I left it - on and off contractions all day. Friday night I had a bath (best idea ever when having contractions - such relief). It was probably 30 degrees in the house, so the bath was lukewarm and I had a fan blowing in my face, but I wanted a candle burning because it made me feel relaxed. Kind of a ridiculous bath actually. Afterwards we went for a nice long walk with our friends Ryan and Wendy and went back to their house for treats. They didn't seem to mind the contracting preggo lady who had to stop and breathe every 10 minutes or so. We walked home (really slow) and went straight to bed - I had given up timing contractions by this point, and figured if they were bad enough, I would wake up.

Saturday morning is when the action really began. By 1 pm I realized I had better hop in the shower and get my last minute things together. It was such a weird feeling calling down to Kevin in the basement, "uh, Kevin, I think you should get ready to go." I didn't want to get too excited, but I knew it was time. For realzies. So by 2 pm we are all ready to go. My contractions were 5 minutes apart and strong enough that I had to sit down or lean over and brace myself to get through them. We were super calm since we had been kinda expecting the "this is it" moment since Wednesday - it was surreal. Just before we were about to leave, I realized I had some chicken that had been thawing in the fridge since Thursday and it had to be cooked since we didn't know when we were going to be home next! So I figure I may as well make darn sure that those contractions were real, and we cooked the chicken before we left. Waiting for the oven to preheat and those 30 minutes of cooking time was awesome. We just sat on the couch and timed the pain. Fun!

So finally we are on our way. By 3:15 we were checked in and went straight to a labour and delivery room because all the assessment rooms were full. I was pleasantly surprised to learn I was "assigned" a nurse - for some reason I thought I would see several nurses here and there, whoever was available. She was awesome - the perfect person for me at that time, really. She was super friendly, knowledgable, answered all my questions, and made me feel totally comfortable. They checked me right away and I was only at about 2-3 cm which was kinda depressing since I had been contracting for days. Within the hour, the nurse came in and said, "good news, you're staying!" since the contractions were so strong and close together. Finally - real labour. Real, painful labour.

By 5:30 pm, I had had enough of the pain and asked for an epidural (at 4 cm). Best decision EVER. I was expecting the epidural to hurt, but the only painful part of it was ripping the tape off afterwards. It was awesome. Within minutes I had no pain whatsoever and life was so good. We couldn't believe how fast the time went by either. When the sun started to go down, we shut all the lights off except for a lamp in the corner and watched "The Devil Wears Prada" on my laptop. The nurse told me she liked coming in there because it was so peaceful and quiet :) We joked about how we really wanted the baby born before midnight to avoid a Sept 11th birthday, but it was pretty obvious we were gonna be there for a little while. The nurses and the student doctor (who is friends with one of Kevin's friends which I found slightly weird) made their predictions as to when baby would be born - the nurse guessed 3:30 am and the student guessed sometime before midnight. Wrong, but the nurse was pretty close!

Around 12 am, my epidural started to wear off but I didn't realize how bad it was going to get and I didn't ask for a top up quite soon enough. Between 12:30 - 1:30, I basically writhed in pain, and for good reason - I went from 4 cm to 9 cm in one hour. Eventually I got my top up and things settled down, pain-wise, for a little while. By this time, I had also been assigned a new nurse, Jackie, who once again, was absolutely perfect for me. She was so sweet and had the most comforting presence. She made me feel so relaxed when I was scared, and I couldn't have asked for a better nurse. She was excited because she had just transferred to the Grey Nuns Hospital, and in two weeks, her shifts had ended before any of her patients babies were actually born - she knew she'd be there for ours, and she was absolutely amazing.

I was very quickly 10 cm dilated and fully effaced probably around 2 am. At this point I was asking for another top up on the epidural because I was starting to feel quite a lot again but the nurse really didn't want me to do so because she thought I would be pushing very soon, and they want the epidural to be just slightly worn off at that point. Unfortunately, with the lack of doctors available, I wasn't able to push for another 1.5 hours, and it was pretty painful. Around 3 am I couldn't take it anymore - I was crying, I was scared (feeling a little bit forgotten because of all the other action going on), I HAD to push, and I kept being told to just hang on a little bit longer.

Eventually Jackie told me that she could get me started, and that the doctor would get there when he could (yeah, that didn't happen!). She was so amazing. She basically coached me through the whole thing, from beginning to end, and I don't know what I would've done without her. Even she had to leave a few times, leaving Kevin alone with me to push - which I actually kinda liked because Kevin counted to 10 faster than Jackie did! I felt like I pushed for eternity. The contractions were so strong and so fast, and the urge to push so strong. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life.

Once things were really going, I was having a really hard time getting in control of my breathing - I felt like I was hyperventilating and I just could not get a hold of myself. Kevin was amazing and made so feel so much calmer. I was completely in a different state of mind - completely unaware of my surroundings and almost delirious with pain. It was awesome. The few pushes that I was in control of, I felt so much more progress and literally each contraction and push was a struggle to just get in control. I was starting to feel her move down and down and now that I think back - it really was quite the experience to be able to feel everything. What a miracle.

I started to get extremely frustrated when by the third push of each contraction, I would finally feel the most progress, and knowing that I would have to start all over again at the next contraction was just killing me. I constantly felt like I was starting all over, from scratch each time, not realizing the progress that really was happening. A couple times I was asked if I wanted to feel the head, and I just thought that was the most disgusting idea in the world, but it probably would have been good incentive, thinking back now! Once the nurse asked me, "What is your body telling you?" and my response was "That it wants to DIE" which I am sure was not the answer she was looking for!

Sometime after 4 am, I realized that there was now a resident doctor with me, but again, I was just so unaware of my surroundings, I didn't think to even be scared that the OB wasn't there. I hardly remember the last few minutes, except for that I did not think I could do it. I repeatedly said I am never doing this ever again (oh but I will) and that I couldn't do it. But I could. Eventually I could feel that we were so so close, and a few really freaking good pushes later, I could feel her head was out. Pretty shortly after, her little body slid right out (weird weird weird) and suddenly there she was, beautiful and perfect and crying on my chest. I couldn't believe it (nor could I believe that I hadn't died).

Nobody announced what it was, and it was a good 15 seconds before I realized I didn't know if she was a girl or a boy, and Kevin had to tell me! I was crying and still having a hard time breathing, and managed to say, "I really wanted a girl" (I can finally admit that now that she is here!). I heard a few "ohhhs" and "awws" from the room at that. It is amazing how all the pain was immediately forgotten (only to be replaced by stitches, yeowwww - luckily only needed a few). I was just beside myself, almost "drunk" with emotion when they put her on me and she only cried for a few minutes. She just wanted to look at me and suck her little fingers. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was (even though she was purple and sticky and kinda gross). I cannot describe how I felt, and it makes me sad that I can never relive those first few moments with her. I have never ever felt such a love. I love that I am crying right now. She will do that to me (sometimes I can hardly look at her without tears in my eyes).

Livia Anne Janzen was born 7 days overdue on Sept 11, 2011 at 4:29 am, weighing 7 lbs, 8 oz, 20 inches long, and is complete perfection. She has the most delicious lips and bright, alert eyes. She has her daddy's fingers and toes - long and skinny. I love her beautiful beautiful face and all her silky hair and her gorgeous dark complexion. She has the sweetest disposition, and spends most of her day sleeping and cuddling. So far she does not eat enough because she can't keep herself awake long enough to get a full feeding - a blog for another day I suppose. I miss her when I am away from her for longer than 10 minutes, and I didn't realize how much I would love the fact that I am the only one who can provide for her what she needs. I get a little bit excited whenever she wakes up from a nap because I love her awake time and I can't believe how much I love feeding her - I had no idea how special it would be. Before her, I actually thought breast feeding would gross me out. I was wrong. The only gross thing is leaking milk, everywhere. All the time. Soooo pretty. When Kevin is home, he is in charge of burping her, which he loves because it's basically just cuddle time for the two of them.

Speaking of Kevin, he is amazing. In labour, all modesty and control went way out the window, and I am sure I was quite the sight to be seen. He found the whole thing to be quite emotional as well, and described himself as feeling helpless and overwhelmed with the pain I was in, and that he couldn't do much to help me. He didn't realize how much help he was, reminding me to just breathe and that I could do it, and that he was so proud of me. He is absolutely enamoured with her. I think it's the most beautiful thing in the world. We brought her to the church today so that we could introduce her to some of the staff, and Kevin was just so proud to show her off. Livia was a champ, behaving like an angel, until the end when she pooped in one person's arms and decided she was starrrrrving in another person's arms :)

I think that's all for now... just quickly, to finish up the hospital visit, we ended up upgrading our hospital room to a theme room because all the private rooms were taken. It was awesome - queen size bed, upgraded menu, flat screen tv, leather chairs for guests - it was a perfect "recovery" room. We had lots of visitors and both Grandmas flew in on Sunday to meet Livia. My mom was there by 10:30 am, and Sylvia was there by 5 pm. We asked if we could go home that night since I was feeling really good, and Livi was doing amazing. We had to wait for her to poop, and poop she did, so we were released. I was a little bit nervous leaving so soon, but the moment we walked in our front door, I was so happy to be home with her. Plus it was awesome to wake up in our own bed. That first night, she was up a few times, but at 3 am, my mom came up and sent me to bed. She put Livia down in our room at 4 am, and there we all slept until 9 am. It was a good first night. Waking up with my baby beside our bed was the best feeling ever, and once again, I was completely overwhelmed with love for her.

I am completely overwhelmed with love for her, every second of the day. In a way, I hope that this feeling never ends, but at the same time, I don't think I can live like this forever with my heart so full for her! I suppose this feeling will never fully go away, but perhaps it will get a little bit more manageable - do Mom's of 14 year old sons and daughters look at their kids and cry because of how much they love them? Maybe once in a while. And just at night time probably. I think I could handle that. For now, Livia can expect a few tears of love just about every 10 minutes. I'll take that over contractions ANY day.

annnnnd nothing.

2011-09-09T11:09:00.000-07:00

***I have started writing a few posts that I originally didn't want to publish until baby was here. I wanted to make sure I captured all my thoughts and feelings in the early stages of labour, and hope to continue to update as labour progresses. To get the whole story, start about 3 posts down and work your way up. I decided to post now since I really have no news after all.

Well, it's now Friday morning. Despite having contractions starting around oh, dinner time on Wednesday evening, all day yesterday, and well into the night last night, I am currently sitting here feeling NOTHING.

That's right. Contractions stopped! Completely!

I can't believe it. I thought FOR SURE baby would come last night. Around 11 pm, the contractions got a bit more intense, and increased in intensity and frequency until they were about 5-7 minutes apart (with the odd 12 minutes thrown in there which is what kept me at home). Around 3:30 am last night, I thought, you know what, we are almost ready to go to the hospital, I just want to wait for them to be a littttttle bit closer together. So I decided that I would stop timing and try to get a few minutes of rest before waking up Kevin and going to the hospital. They were pretty strong at this point, and I didn't think there was any chance that I would actually fall asleep, but I must have been pretty tired and fell asleep almost immediately.

Annnnnnd woke up at 7:30 am. Feeling absolutely nothing.

Once again, I cried.

I was (am) sooooo frustrated. I have been experiencing mild contractions since WEDNESDAY for crying out loud, and although they haven't been horrendous whatsoever, they have been my hope that the baby was coming and they were progressively getting closer together and more intense - to the point of I don't understand how women do this without drugs. So to wake up with this morning with zero contractions makes me feel like I am going to have to start all over again and the thought of that just sucks.

On top of that, I was Dr. Googling "contractions stopped" and was getting all these responses about women who had contractions for 5 hours and then stopped and they were all upset and THAT made me even angrier. 5 hours is NOTHING, lady!! Plus there was all this stuff about what colour the blood should be (I've been spotting ever since I got my membranes stripped), and if it's a certain colour then your placenta is DEFINITELY ruptured and your baby is definitely under major stress - more tears. To top it off, I wasn't feeling any movement from the baby at all. Freaking out. Never google your symptoms, my friends. It's just not good.

I should have just called Labour and Delivery at that point, but instead I just cried while Kevin calmly reassured me that everything is okay. I fell back to sleep, and when I woke up I did call L&D, which was very reassuring and the nurse told me to eat breakfast and then do a baby movement count - just need 6 movements in 2 hours. She also reassured me to never feel silly about coming in to make sure things are all okay. Baby has been moving ever since breakfast, and I'm sure all is well in there.

So now I suppose I just continue waiting. Kevin's mom has been here since Tuesday night, and she has been so helpful and generous. It's been so good to have her here, and I sure felt awful saying goodbye to her this morning when baby really could arrive any day now. She would have loved to have been here.
Luckily baby will live a lifetime, and all the Grandmas and Nanas will have plenty of time to meet the baby - it's just the cuddles that babies grow out of :)

Until the next update...

false labour?

2011-09-09T11:08:00.001-07:00

This post was written Thursday evening....

... 8 hours later from the last post (ummm please note, the last post was already about 16 hours into irregular and inconsistent contractions... this puts me at around hour 24. Kill me?).

Contractions are alllllllllll ovvvvvvvvvveerrrrrrrr the place.

7 minutes.
12 minutes.
4 minutes.
10 minutes.
14 minutes.
5 minutes.

This is unnnnnnnbelievable!!!

early labour???

2011-09-09T11:08:00.000-07:00

***Written Thursday afternoon, about 16 hours into mild, inconsistent contractions that I THOUGHT were "IT"!!!

I think?

Contractions started last night (Wednesday), but were really irregular and inconsistent. Not too painful, just annoying, mild cramping and tightening. I woke up probably 3 or 4 times last night and continued to have them throughout the night.

This morning, up and at 'er around 6:30 am... same thing. Contractions, not super strong, about every 20 minutes or so. Some loss of blood and mucus (lovvvveeely).

It's now 3:30 pm. Still contracting. Slowly getting stronger, slowly getting closer together. EEEEEEEK. I have an awesome contractions app that is doing a really good job of timing them for me (except for when I forget to stop the timer - I'm screwing up all my stats!). In fact, the last 4 have been within 5 minutes of each other.... let's see if this continues for the next 45 minutes! And they are starting to hurt more and more. I had worried that I wouldn't know when I was contracting, or that I wouldn't know when to go to the hospital - I did not have to worry. It's pretty obvious (but nobody could have convinced me of that before I experienced this for myself).

Even though this has been going on since last night, I can't BELIEVE I might be on my way to the hospital in the next few hours! Oh goodness, so much going through my mind. Should I have a shower? You know, just in case I don't have the baby for hours and hours yet and this could be my last chance? I don't want to be a greasy mess for our first pictures!!! And what if I don't get another chance to shave my legs in the next 18 years? Is there anything else I should throw in my hospital bag? Should I do a quick vacuum? What about my Sims game on Facebook - I better use up all my energy so that I don't waste any! Should I eat, or will that make me more uncomfortable? Will Kevin have enough snacks for the hospital?!!!! He gets REALLY grumpy if he doesn't eat! Side note: I packed juice boxes, nibs, oatmeal cookies, granola bars and fruit snacks, not to mention I am going to throw a couple pieces of fruit in there for me - I think we'll be ok!

Speaking of last minute, with the contractions starting last night, Kevin and I realized we better install the Eddie Bauer car seat (are we crazy?) that we bought way back in April. So at 8:30 pm last night, he starts trying to get it in our very non-baby friendly 2 door vehicle, and it didn't take long to realize it was too freaking big. We seriously could not get the front passenger seat to lock in comfortably at all - it was awful. I pretty much freaked out and told Kevin to "deal with it, I'm going downstairs" only to leave him standing in our parking lot with a car seat that would not fit, a contracting & emotional wife, and a prayer that we don't go into labour that night. It's 9 pm. Poor guy. So, he goes to the fire hall, where they USED to do car seat inspections, to see if it was something he was doing wrong. Turns out, they don't do inspections anymore due to liability issues. Ridiculous. I was so angry (at the whole situation, and was freaking out that I was going to have a baby and have no car seat). I bawled. Ah, a good cry, always such a good thing.

Needless to say, baby didn't come last night, and this morning Kevin and I took the original car seat and stroller back to Toys R Us - the stroller and car seat that I have NOT liked from the beginning, I don't know why I bought it (so big and bulky) - and got an awesome Maxi Cosi stroller and car seat that I am in LOVE with. And it fits in our car. Perfectly. I'm so happy.

Obviously Baby didn't like the original car seat and stroller either, so no wonder he/she has been holding out! We want a stylish and cool car seat and stroller, don't we baby? Ah, a child after my own heart.

.... Ohhhh the time between the last two contractions was 14 minutes..... maybe not quite there yet......... come onnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!

I'm totally going for a shower. Fingers crossed (and prayers lifted!).

dr appt - 40 weeks, 3 days

2011-09-08T06:43:00.000-07:00

Here's the low down on yesterdays appointment:

Wait: Just 1 hour. Again, a miracle.

Heartbeat: 124

Weight gain: 1 lb (total of 30 lbs gained. That is the final number - no more scales for me)

Good news: The nurse finally took away my pee cup that I have carried around in my house/purse/various public washrooms for the last 3 months or so - I won't need it anymore!

Dilated: 2 cm

Membrane Sweep: Done, with zero pain. In fact, I had to confirm he even did it!

Induction Date: Scheduled for next week, just in case baby doesn't come before then.

That is all! Hoping for some baby action, like, NOW????

Walking, walking, walking

2011-09-05T20:05:00.000-07:00

Well, that last post didn't work.

Baby ignored his/her due date.

And apparently "Labour Day" means nothing. NOTHING!

Le sigh.

Well we are officially one day overdue, and although I am truly not surprised, I can't help but be disappointed. We are just so excited to meet our little babe, and have so much anticipation of how he or she is going to change our lives. I know that in the next few days we will have a babe in our arms and these last few days of waiting will seem like an eternity ago... but for now we wait. And wait and wait and wait. And watch mindless tv, and do another load of laundry and try to scrounge up something for dinner.

Ok, so maybe that was just today, since I was so SO exhausted after our super fun long weekend! I think I've reached my activity maximum for the month. But I'm so thankful for the distraction that my family was, and we packed in a LOT in the last three beautiful summery hot days. I am pretty sure I walked about 50 bazillion miles which instead of a baby, just gave me a whole lot of pain in my hips and legs - awesome. But it was all worth it. Saturday we spent out at Jurassic Forest, which is basically Kayden's version of paradise, so that was definitely a highlight. How is it that kids make otherwise lame things just so much fun?!! We spent Saturday afternoon swimming at their hotel, having dinner at Red Robin, and waiting for baby.

Sunday, aka Due Date (aka Tease Date), was spent at Fort Edmonton Park, and I really hoped that 5 hours of walking around Edmonton's historic park would bring on the contractions, but no, my stubborn, sweet baby just enjoyed themselves all the more inside my belly. He or she seems as happy as can be in there with no indication of coming out, ever! Surely I will be pregnant forever! Not even a bumpy wagon ride could move things along, so I think I'm doomed. Sunday dinner was good ol' Swiss Chalet and the evening spent cuddling with my niece at the hotel room until bedtime. If being an Auntie is so good, how much sweeter will being a mother be? I just can't imagine the goodness.

Today we had my parents for lunch at our house before they left on their trip home. After they left, I had the brilliant idea to walk to Macs for slurpees - a mere 23 blocks from our house. About a quarter of the way there I was dyyyyyyyinnnngg, but I was determined to keep going. But I made it the whole way there, got my slurpee and my 5 cent candies, and we started the long track home (pretty much regretting every step by that point). The whole journey took 2 hours. I was pretty sure I was having a baby when we got home, but a couple hours of napping on the couch, and I woke up as good as new. Exhausted, but again, no indication of labour. Blahhhhhhh.

Despite how obviously harder each day got (Jurassic Forest was a breeze. Fort Edmonton was a bit of a struggle. Macs today almost killed me), walking isn't doing the trick. I think I need a new strategy. We have another hot, summery week ahead, and despite the beautiful weather, I can feel myself getting more and more grumpy and impatient - but I don't think I'll ever be at the castor oil point, so don't bother suggesting it :) Squats are pretty much out of the question these days, although I promise that I did do at least 3 or 4 last week, not to mention a few lunges here and there!

Despite all that, I know we're almost there - and I am so soooo ready for this!!! (I think....).

5 reasons you should come in the next 12 hours

2011-08-31T10:35:00.000-07:00

1. So it's not that I don't WANT to share birthday month with you. It's more like I think you are so special that you deserve your very own birthday month. Besides, birthday month officially ends on the day of your birthday, so if you come tonight, you would get an entire 31 days to celebrate. If you come next week, you get a mere 8 or 9 (I'm talking max here... you'd better be here by Sep 9!). And you'll have to watch your Mom celebrate 26 days of birthday month, and I don't want you to feel bad when birthday month ends for you early. Just sayin'.

2. Your family is coming this weekend, whether you show your face or not. So could you please show your face??? Auntie Jenna, Uncle Kyle and your cousins Kayden and Haylie are all coming for a last long weekend of summer hurrah, and when Papa found out about this, he decided he and Nana should tag along too. They're all staying down the road at a hotel with a pool and a waterside and all that jazz, and I don't even have to worry about everyone staying here at our house. So it would be awfully convenient if you arrived tonight, which would give me a couple days to gather my thoughts/life/emotions/bodily functions/etc before the whole crew came. Wouldn't you like to meet your cute little (big) cousins? And your Auntie? And your Papa and Nana? And your freaking MOTHER??? We would all like to meet you.

3. So I have flights for us booked for the first week of October to go home to Saskatoon. West Jet requires two pieces of ID for you, little baby, and the later you show up, the less chance of me getting two pieces of ID for you in time for our trip. Which means we might have to cancel our flights. So if you could come tonight, that would give me a full 4 weeks to get your sweet little life registered to the world, and would make things much less complicated for me.

4. New in my life: pregnancy insomnia. I don't fall asleep until, oh around 2 am every night. And today I was up and at 'er at 5:55 am. If I'm going to be up most of the night anyway, I may as well be spending it with you. The last week or so I haven't napped during the day not wanting to make my nighttime sleep worse... then talking to a friend last night, she made me realize that it probably couldn't get much worse, so I may as well nap during the day, rather than just being exhausted all the time (I'll have plenty of time for that when you arrive). So, ideally, I would like to have a little nap this afternoon and wake up to contractions 3-5 minutes apart, and have you at 11:55 pm tonight. That's my plan. What's yours?

5. I've been home for a week and 3 days, and I'm bored now. I just texted your Dad that I'm bored, and he said to do squats (that's what the doctor told us yesterday). I don't want to do squats. If you come tonight, I won't have to do dreaded squats.

This all seems perfectly reasonable to me. It's hardly too much to ask. So, let me see, it's 11:30 am right now, and I have a couple girlfriends coming soon to drop off/pick up the freezer meals that we all made. Then your Dad is coming home for lunch, and I am going to a massage appointment. Then I will come home and perhaps have a nap, and that is your cue. You could start the whole process now if you'd like, I'd be willing to cancel the massage. Soooooo..... Go!

dr appointment 39 weeks, 2 days

2011-08-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

Wait time: 1 hour (A miracle - I have waited up to 2.5 hours on more than one occasion).

Waiting room story: You know the neighbour that once tried to break into my house (by accident)? Guess who has been there the last two weeks with his pregnant (new) wife? Yep, THAT neighbour. Last week I ignored him because it's so weird and I love to make awkward situations worse. This week we waved and said hello and good luck when they left. (Update: he moved out a few months ago when they found out his gf was preggo, and then got married and moved into a new, bigger place).

Heartbeat: 154 (up from 135 on Friday!). Kevin came to my appointment today, and the Dr said "Well, it's either a girl, or an excited boy since Dad is here today!"

Weight gain: after a few weeks of consistently losing weight, I am up 3 lbs since Friday! Woah - it must be all that sugary pineapple juice I've been downing :) Total of 29 lbs gained.

Dilated: 2 cm, cervix very soft, 50% effaced.

The Bad News: the Dr was going to strip my membranes today if I was dilated enough... well I was dilated enough, but the baby isn't low enough to do it. So, no go. I was disappointed, even if it's not always a successful induction of labor, I still had high hopes.

The More Bad News: I had to make another appointment for next week. Annoying!

Dear Baby

2011-08-28T14:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Baby,

I couldn't sleep last night and all I could think of was you. I was worried that if I didn't write you at least one last time before you came that I may not get the chance to. I am having a hard time comprehending that this pregnancy is all coming to an end very soon, and that our new life as a family is about to begin.

Pregnancy has been good to me (i.e. you have been good to me). I have not been very sick, not been exceptionally tired, and have been able to basically carry on with life as normal besides knowing that a little person was growing inside of me and was going to change my life forever. Sure I have had lots of aches and pains and plenty of grumbling, over-exaggerated sighs and "woe is me" moments, but they are fleeting and really, it is amazing how quickly 9 months has passed. This morning at church I was remembering some special moments when we were quietly telling people about you, and now those same people are wishing us the best and praying for us as we go into this much anticipated week.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about the whole process of labor. In fact, as a teenager I wasn't sure I would even have kids because labor scared me so much. Stubbing my toe makes me feel both nauseous and like I'm going to faint, which causes a bit of concern when labor is likely to hurt at LEAST as much as stubbing my toe. The thought that "millions of women before me have done this" provides about as much comfort to me as "at least I won't die" (probably. We'll see about that). I am a wimp when it comes to pain. I fully intend to get an early epidural and perhaps, as unlikely as this sounds, enjoy labor??? Not only am I concerned about the pain, but I wonder if I will even know when I'm really in labor. I so do not want to be the girl that shows up at the hospital 8 times only to be sent home 8 times - so much so that I question if I will even go in when I'm supposed to! I have been called "dramatic" (ha!) so much in my life that I sometimes try to be the exact opposite, not asking for help when I need it, or downplaying the pain I do have sometimes.

Speaking of pain, I had a bit of a rough day on Friday. By that night, I was so convinced you were coming that I quickly did a last load of laundry, folded some unattended to laundry, put dishes away, loaded the dishwasher, and got all my last minute toiletries out on the counter ready for your Dad to grab for me should he need to help me out. I didn't want to freak your Dad out because he was doing a wedding the next day, and it would have really been rather unfortunate timing for the bride and groom! So I didn't tell him what I was doing, or why I was so frantically running around the house at 10 pm. Needless to say, you didn't come and I ended up having a great sleep that night (so nice because those good sleeps are far and few between lately).

Yes, being pregnant is one thing. Becoming a Mom is another. Because of you, we are really becoming a family, and no longer just a "couple". Being a couple has been wonderful and amazing and I'm so grateful for the time we had together just us. But you are about to come and change everything in the best way possible. You are about to make our lives so much more meaningful. For the first time, I will be truly living my life for another person - you.

In his message to the bride and groom yesterday, your Dad talked about how marriage is the most successful and meaningful when you live selflessly for your spouse, not for your own gain or happiness. It is a struggle to live like this - I am inherently selfish, and my instinct is to look out for my own needs and my own happiness. It is a conscious decision to live my life selflessly for your Dad, and a decision that doesn't always come easily (for example, he just asked me, "what's for lunch" - um, I had a bowl of cereal about half an hour ago, and had no plans to make him lunch - niiiiice one). While it's a conscious decision to live like this for your Dad (and a concept that I honestly think he is much better at than I am), I think it will be my inherent instinct to do this for you. To keep you warm, fed, happy, clean, safe and well rested... to keep you alive for heaven's sake... I am about to begin the most important mission of my life. I am certain that you will teach me a thing or two about selflessness, making me both a better mother and a better wife. I know I have much to learn.

I have so much hope for you, and so many dreams for you. That you will be happy and love life, that you will know God and live your life for Him. That you would have a healthy and happy childhood and grow up strong and confident and with peace knowing your life is in His hands. I pray that you will know what you want, and will work hard to achieve your own dreams and be successful in anything that you decide to pursue. But for now, I just hope that you will be perfectly healthy and happy. We already love you so much and already feel so protective over you, and so proud of you. We are thrilled to become the family that you are making us. We know that we have many years of laughter and joy ahead of us as you grow into the person that you will become. We look forward to meeting your brothers and sisters, and are grateful that you are willing to let us "experiment" on you, our firstborn (as both sets of your grandparents did on your Dad and I!). It's not always easy being the eldest, and I will try to remember that when you make the same mistakes I did as a child and teenager. I will try to have plenty of grace when I don't understand something you do, and will try to look at things through your eyes and your perspective. I think you are about to teach me a whole lot about myself, and will probably continue to do so for the rest of my life.

You are about to begin a little journey known as life. Life isn't always easy. The world is full of sorrow, injustice and pain, and you will undoubtedly experience your own shake-ups. But the world is also incredibly beautiful and I'm about to experience one of the best things it has to offer. I hope that you experience much beauty in life early on, and that you contribute goodness to the world around you. You can change the world by impacting the lives that come into yours. I know that you will certainly be changing mine.

On a lighter note, your room is ready. Your diapers are bought, your clothes are washed, and your furniture is all assembled. Just in case you weren't aware, you are 39 weeks now, which means that you can come out now and be perfectly healthy. I'm not sure what the hold up is. You squirm like a fish in there, and I assure you, you will have plenty of room out here to squirm as much as you want. I think you'll like it out here. So come out now. I would like to cuddle you please. Tonight works for me and your Dad. Although as he informed you last night, he has football drafts on Monday and Wednesday night, so he would prefer tonight or Tuesday. Me, I have no plans, so don't listen to him. Just come out now. Thanks.

Love, Mom

freezer meals

2011-08-27T14:45:00.000-07:00

A few people have asked for the recipes of the freezer meals I did. Just to explain again, I only actually made three separate meals, but I made four of each meal. Three of my friends did the same thing, and we are swapping our meals around so that we all end up with 12 unique frozen dinners, and we are splitting the cost of it all so it works out evenly.

None of the meals I made are specifically "freezer" meals, I just made them that, and have modified the cooking directions at the end a bit to make it work for the freezer.

Indonesian Peanut Chicken
(from Taste of Home, Healthy Cooking)

1 1/2 lbs (about 4) boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1 inch cubes

1/3 cup chopped onion

1/3 cup water or chicken broth

1/4 cup reduced fat creamy peanut butter

3 tbsp chili sauce (i used a mixture of Thai sweet chilli sauce and regular chilli sauce)

salt and pepper

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

6 tbsp chopped salted peanuts

1/2 sweet red bell pepper, chopped

3 cups rice

1. Place chicken in the slow cooker. If you like a lot of kick, you could marinate the chicken using a bottled peanut sauce. I didn't do that this time around for the sake of the children involved :)

2. In a small bowl, combine the onion, water, peanut butter, chili sauce, salt & pepper, and cayenne; pour over chicken Cover and cook on low for 4 – 6 hours, or until chicken is tender.

3. Shred meat with two forks and return to slow cooker; add the red bell pepper and peanuts; heat through.

Serve with brown rice.

As a freezer meal, basically throw all the ingredients in a freezer safe ziplock bag (excluding the red pepper and peanuts - those you want to add in the last few minutes of cooking). The night before you want to make it, take out of the freezer and thaw in the fridge overnight. Cook in slow cooker according to above directions, adding the peanuts and red peppers towards the end of the cooking time. I still am giving each girl a separate zip lock bag of peanuts and red peppers to throw in their freezers so that they have everything ready to go.

Layered Chicken Almondine
(from my Mom's recipe binder)

4-5 chicken breasts, cubed

salt and pepper

1/2 tsp poultry seasoning

2 cups fresh green beans, or you can use a nice combo of carrots, green and yellow beans (which is what I used from a frozen bag from Costco - M&M's also has this)

1 can cream of chicken soup

1/2 cup milk

1 cup mushrooms, sliced

1 cup shredded mozza cheese

1/2 cup toasted sliced almonds

1 pkg stove top stuffing for chicken

1 cup hot water

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. Cook chicken in olive oil on a skillet over medium-high heat until just cooked through (remember the entire casserole will be baked for 30 minutes once assembled). Season with salt and pepper as desired.

3. Toast almonds, in a dry frying pan over medium heat, stirring often and watching carefully that they don’t burn.

4. Cook green beans in boiling water for 4-5 minutes, until just barely soft (or cook just barely in the microwave with a bit of water).

5. Placed cooked chicken in 9 x 13 baking dish. Sprinkle with poultry seasoning.

6. In a large mixing bowl, combine soup, milk, mushrooms and green beans. Spread over the chicken. Sprinkle cheese and toasted almonds over the soup mixture.

7. Combine stuffing mix and hot water. Top cheese and almond layer with stuffing mixture.

8. Bake for 30 minutes.

For the freezer, I made it exactly as above, but I didn't do the stuffing layer. I'm basically handing each girl a casserole with a box of stove top, and will instruct the girls to add the stuffing mixture just before throwing in the oven. I am not totally sure what the cooking time should be, but I think you would want to have this slightly thawed before cooking (let thaw in fridge overnight, or for most of the day). I would then add the stuffing layer, and cook according to directions (3o minutes at 400 degrees). You wouldn't want to overcook this because remember that the chicken has already been cooked in the first step, and nobody likes overcooked chicken!

Salsa Chili

(from Company's Coming)

This is a nice change from regular tomato based chili, and calls for salsa instead. I make this pretty often in our house, especially in the colder months.

1 1/2 lbs lean ground beef

1 cup chopped onion

1 14 oz can of kidney beans

1 14 oz can of black beans

1 1/2 cups frozen corn

2 tsp chili powder

1/4 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/8 tsp pepper

1 1/2 cups medium salsa

1. Scramble fry ground beef and onion in a large pot until onion is soft and beef is no longer pink. Drain.

2. Add remaining 8 ingredients. Heat, stirring occasionally, until boiling. Simmer for 10-15 minutes.

Makes 8 1/2 cups (2.1 L) chili.
Because this makes such a huge pot, I ended up putting just over 4 cups of chili into each freezer bag, and was able to give each family two bags. This works nicely for smaller families (i.e. Kevin and I) who would only ever need one bag at a time, but if the bigger families want to make both bags for one meal, that works too. Just wanted to give the option. The only specific freezer cooking instructions for this would be to slightly thaw in fridge (just enough to be able to kinda break it apart with a wooden spoon) and reheat in a large pot. Easy!

first week off

2011-08-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

Oh, it's been such a good week and it's only Wednesday morning. I love love love that summer is coming to an end, very slowly but surely - I love fall the most-est. This morning I have all the windows open and a slightly crisp breeze is flowing through the house. I know that by 1 pm it will be hot, so I will take this cool morning while it lasts with much happiness.

Mornings like these remind me of the fall after I graduated from high school. I was about to start my 6 month missions "expedition" (weirdest 6 months of my life... and yet I look upon that time with strange fondness.... oh how I wish I blogged back then!). Anyway, I basically took my first real job before our group started as a landscaper, and surprisingly, I absolutely loved it. I distinctly remember cool, clean and crisp mornings and hot afternoons (aka tanning time) from late August to early October, and today feels exactly the same. Only now I have a baby to look forward to, rather than 6 months of travelling around four different countries. Such exciting times.

I am once again cozy in my recliner, this time with the baby boy blue blanket that Sylvia made. Maybe tomorrow I'll curl up with the baby girl pink blanket. I know the blankets are for baby, but they are just so inviting and warm and perfect. Soon one of them will be showcased, while the other one will be put away for another time. I can hardly wait.

This week has been wonderful. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I don't just have a few days off here - I have a year. Hopefully more, but that's just a dream in my head that probably isn't going to make sense in reality. We'll see. Anyway, Kevin and I went to a matinee on Monday afternoon (The Help - it's a must see, but an even better read. I loved it, both in print and on the big screen!). Did you know matinees in Edmonton cost the same as evening shows? Rip off! I thought we were being so coy, shaving off dollar signs by going at 3:30 - nope, still $12.50 a person and my water and Kev's popcorn added another $10 at least. Oh well, times are changing I suppose. I was extra mad when we were charged $0.83 for butter on our popcorn. Come on now. Anyway, the movie was wonderful, and the seats were positioned perfectly for my 38 week state - I was extremely comfortable, a hard thing to achieve these days.

Yesterday I woke up super early and couldn't fall back to sleep. I knew I had these frozen meals that I needed to make, not just for myself, but for the three other families that are involved in this big cooking switch-a-roo, and I had this panicky feeling that if I didn't make them today (yesterday), I will never ever make them. So I was awake at 7, calling my Mom for cooking advice at 8:30 (who was totally freaking out that I was calling so early, convinced I was calling to tell them that baby was on the way - too funny), and grocery shopping at Costco and Superstore all morning. Then all afternoon I cooked and cooked and cooked. I made 8 chills and 4 slow-cooker Peanut Chickens (one of my favourites ever). I still have the Layered Chicken Almondine (another family favourite and ultimate fall comfort food) to make which I plan to do tomorrow morning. By 6:00 the last thing I wanted to do was make supper, but I managed to throw together a stove-top tuna casserole from Eat, Shrink & Be Merry (one of my fav cookbooks, ever!). Kevin spoiled me in the evening by letting me watch What Not To Wear and doing all the dishes that I created from my huge day of cooking, and bringing me cookies and milk. So nice. Cooking basically crippled me and I was exhausted.

Today I am spending the morning recovering from yesterday and reading my new book "Heaven is for Real", recommended to me by my cousin, Chantelle. I started it last night before bed and I probably only have about another hour to read before I'm done, so it's a quick, easy read. I'm loving the child's simple and beautiful perspective of Heaven. Read it.

This afternoon I am getting my hair done. It's been far too long. Normally around this time of the year, I put some darker low lights into my hair, but I'm actually going the opposite and hopefully blonder than ever. My blonde never seems to be quite where I want it, but I think today is going to be a positive day for the blonde in me. I will surely report back.

Every night, Kevin talks to the baby, putting his mouth pretty much right on my tummy and in his Darth Vadar voice, says, "Baby, it's time for you to come out so we can meet you now. I love you Baby. Stop making your mom uncomfortable, or you'll be grounded." I think he might actually be scaring the baby into getting even more cozy!

38 weeks

2011-08-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

I am sitting happily in the baby's room on my comfy recliner, thinking about how there are only two (or so) weeks left til we meet our tiny little person. I am pretty sure I am the only person in the world who is looking forward to this summer being over and for fall to begin - in other words, our new life to begin. I think it is going to be the most special (and crazy, and uncertain, and exhausting) time in our lives.

My life was put into perspective this past week when an old friend of mine from high school who was due to have her little guy on the same day as me, popped him out a couple days ago - woah. Baby could come anytime! I'm pretty sure babe is nice and comfy cozy in there, and won't be making an appearance anytime too soon, unfortunately. I have been eating a lot of spicy food lately and when the urge hits, I have been taking part in strenuous activities, such as washing walls (like what?) and grocery shopping at 10 pm (we did that last night!). I have also managed to catch the awful cough and cold that Kevin had last week, and despite rare moments of insanity (again, washing walls and grocery shopping in the middle of the night), I have been trying to take it easy, drink a lot of warm water with lemon, and gargle with salt water (gross). Any other natural home remedies to fight a cold and sore throat? The last thing I need is to be all run down and sick just in time for labour, so I plan to take care of myself and try to make it go away before the games begin! This morning I stayed home from church to sleep in and am now just waiting for Kevin to come home so I can make us our mini pita pizzas. I can't tell you how excited I am to have a meal plan for the week and groceries already bought - it's a Christmas miracle.

Kevin is my most favourite man in the world. Last week he was trying to have a nap, but he couldn't fall asleep because his phone was upstairs and he wouldn't know if I was trying to call to tell him I was in labour. That same night, he brought down the big stroller & car seat box and put it all together. Of course, the foot rest won't attach to the stroller because nothing ever goes perfectly for us - hopefully it's as simple as a phone call to Eddie Bauer to see what we're doing wrong, rather than a defective product. Fingers crossed. I also managed to score a beautiful baby bassinet that I am borrowing from a friend. This was one of those things that I know we could have managed without, but was really hoping to have. It at least gives us the option of keeping baby in our room for the first few weeks if that is what we decide to do - I'm still up in the air on that one. Even so, if I'm working away upstairs, clanging dishes and whatnot, I can put baby down in the bassinet downstairs where it is cool and quiet. Again, just nice to have the option.

So little Baby Janzen, we are ready for you... (besides the stroller foot rest, but you can't reach that anyway, so don't let that hold you up! Oh, and the fact that your Dad and I are still debating your name should you be a boy - eek!!!). Maybe give your Mom another day or two of good rest, and then you can come. We would sure like to meet you. And if you can do what you can to make labour as easy as possible, that would be greatly appreciated. Just sayin'.

keepin' busy

2011-08-17T21:26:00.000-07:00

So I have two more days of work/torture until my one year ~~vacation~~ stay-at-home-mom stint begins. I kid, I kid - I know it won't be all rainbows and butterflies (more like poop, puke & exhaustion), but I sure am excited to be finally beginning this new adventure!

I am basically trying to plan my next couple weeks with the idea that baby will either come on my due date or be late - I don't want to get my hopes up that he/she will come early. I'll happily take any number of days early should babe decide to come sooner of course! I am told to have lots of activities planned to keep my mind off things, so here is a little list of things I hope to accomplish in the next two, two & a half weeks:

Hair appointment (obviously #1 on the list)
Drs appointments
Facial, courtesy of my thoughtful husband and friend!
Massage
12 frozen meals to make. This isn't as bad as it sounds... my friends and I are doing a different version of "the big cook" where 4 of us girls are each making three different frozen meals x 4 and distributing them out among us, so that we end up with 12 frozen meals each. so basically i am making 4 chilli's, 4 chicken almond & green bean casseroles, and 4 peanut chicken meals, and I'll come home with 12 different meals in the end. I call that smart.
A few last things around the house to organize (but not much since my Mom did most of it when she was here - so awesome)
Kevin is officiating a couple of weddings, and I might tag along to those if I feel like putting on a dress and doing my hair
I would like to have a few people over for dessert, on different evenings, before baby comes
Kevin has a couple football games that I could go to if the weather is nice and if the mosquitos are under control - I haven't watched a single game this year!
One more date night
Go for coffee, lunch, or even tag along for errands with girlfriends - in the middle of the day!
Watch Ellen :)
Actually make dinner and have groceries in the house! Now that would be impressive.

I'm not sure if this list is too lofty for being 38/39 weeks pregnant, but at least I'll have some options if I'm feeling up to it! I don't expect to do it all, or feel like I have to do any of it really (well, except the hair appointment.... and the frozen meals.... and the one last date night.....oh, and Ellen every day.... hmmm).

But probably the most important thing I'll accomplish while I'm waiting for babe? At least one nap per day. Life is good.

dr appt

2011-08-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

Weight Gain: -0.5 lbs (I know, right?)

Heartbeat: 138 (last week was 144)

Dilated: 0.5 cm (things are starting to happen!)

Baby's position: head down

Dr says baby is allowed to come anytime now - come on baby!

(I think he's saying that because he is scheduled to go on VACATION the week I am due! Trying not to worry about this since babies never come when they are due... but seriously. Not cool!).

37 weeks

2011-08-16T12:14:00.000-07:00

I suddenly am feeling about 88 years old. As of about yesterday. Last week my Mom noticed me slowing down, and well, if she could see me this week, she might put me in a hospital bed. A girl at work told me I was looking "rough" and asked if I was I sure I shouldn't go home. She followed up with "I have never seen you look quite like this before!" I had to laugh because I know it's true! I look rough, I feel rough. I am now the slowest lady on the block and you would be too if you had a 6 pounder sitting on your bladder all day long. I'm also a bit of an emotional wreck. I was in the wrong line up at the bakery today, and when I realized it, I almost burst into tears. A lady noticed my distress and insisted I slip in front of her in the line up. So ridiculous!!!!

It's my last week of work, and this week can't go by fast enough - I am so done!

big feet, little feet

2011-08-15T08:28:00.000-07:00

Friday night I tried to go shoe shopping for the fall. Bad idea. Low point of the evening: comment from the salesgirl at Aldo - "Shall I bring you a size 9 to try on?". I'm a 6. Well apparently not anymore! Last week was hot hot hot, and my feet were the size of my thighs by the end of the day (slight exaggeration perhaps). Too bad - size 6 is such a convenient size, and always in stock. I guess we'll see how things go after baby arrives! Funny thing is, I'm still wearing all my regular shoes, so I don't really get it... are my shoes just stretching?

Speaking of feet, I can literally feel the outline of baby's foot sticking out of my tummy. It's teensy tiny, definitely smaller than a size 6 - more like 2 inches. It's crazy when I feel a foot move from one side to another. Last night Kevin felt it briefly too, which is a miracle because baby is almost always shy when Kevin puts his hand on my tummy. Baby could be moving like crazy, but the moment Kevin tries to feel, nothing. Silly baby.

I can't believe my baby has feet! What a relief.

nursery @ 37 weeks

2011-08-14T20:57:00.000-07:00

My parents were here this week, and they worked like mad men on our house, and specifically, the baby room. I am loving how it is turning out. I still have details to add to the room (curtains, throws, pillows, etc) which will only be done after Baby's arrival - I just need to know whether to add pink or brown!

I have so much more to say - expect a few posts this week :)

Just three (ish) weeks to go!

The Bads and Goods.

2011-08-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

Several weeks into my pregnancy, I announced on facebook that I love being pregnant. So much so that I would like to do it for a living.

I humbly take that statement back.

Um, can I be done now? I'm pretty sure I've been pregnant forever. And I'm getting a little bit concerned it may never end.

Here are some things I will not miss about being knocked up:

Being obsessed with the fact that I am having a baby. It's sometimes hard to think about anything else, and I could really use a distraction. Big Brother is doing a fair job, but 3 nights a week isn't quite enough. Perhaps I should subscribe to the live feed.
Hip pain, back pain, feet pain, Braxton Hicks pain, everywhere pain.
Having to make a plan every time I get off the couch or out of bed. Okay Kristin, just move your right arm over your left hand, and use both hands to support yourself enough to slowly roll over. Now, with both feet firmly planted, on one, on two, and UP you go. It's getting old.
Waking up to pee 3-5 times a night (this combined with the above is extra annoying)
The general feeling that I can't do anything - I get home from work, and I just want to sit. I consider go to sleep at 7 pm most nights, but somehow this never actually happens.
Only being allowed to drink 1-2 cups of coffee/day. I suppose this is something I should continue post-partum, but I just can't see that happening.
Heartburn. Have I mentioned this? Oh, only on every post. Right.
Not being able to climb a flight of stairs without stopping halfway to catch my breath. LAME!
Working full time. I am so over it! Only 9 more work days left!!!
Being a heifer. 'Nuff said. I want my body back, or at least, some non-massive version of it.
Having baby sitting on my bladder. BOOOO! Basically, if I am standing, I feel like I have to pee.
Feeling like strangers stare at me because I'm pregnant. Hey - haven't you ever seen a pregnant lady before? I feel like an alien.

It ain't all so bad. There are definitely some elements I will miss. Let's talk about these too, just to keep things fair.

Eating full fat mayonnaise. This was a bad habit to start. Kev's parents were here awhile ago, and Kev's mom bought this MASSIVE jar of real mayo. I haven't eaten real mayo in YEARS and I was just accustomed to light mayo or even miracle whip. Then one day... I ran out of my light stuff. And was forced to use the real stuff. And I haven't looked back since. I love it. But all good things must come to an end.
Feeling my baby move. I love this. It isn't exactly comfortable having babe inside of me - it's downright uncomfy and sometimes hurts. But it's also the coolest thing ever. I can't believe this little thinger inside of me has ears and a nose and feet and toes and fingers and eyebrows. I will miss having my little buddy inside of me - we do everything together. Obviously we'll still be pretty much attached at the hip, but I'm assuming baby outside of the womb is a little more work than baby inside the womb. But also much more fun. And cute. And will smell so good.
Having the strangers who are not staring at me, being extra nice to me. Opening doors, insisting to help me with groceries (workers, not shoppers), complimenting me, just general niceness. I like. The other day I was sitting in the cafeteria at work, and I was randomly chosen to win the daily gift card that food services gives out. My coworkers insisted I won bc I'm preggo. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't (I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm actually quite lucky. I win things often. Little known fact).
The anticipation of this amazing, unknown, life changing little creature that is going to come whether we are ready for him/her or not. It is truly one of the most special, exciting times in my life, and I know it will never again feel quite like this - it's all so hard to imagine... I can't wait to meet our little person (and persons to come... but let's take this one at a time, shall we? See first list above!!!). Although it will be exciting to eat real mayonnaise again!

5 weeks to go...

2011-07-29T18:22:00.000-07:00

When is this so-called "nesting" instinct supposed to kick in? Because right now, I just can't see it happening. Ever. I have so much I want to do around the house before baby arrives, but I'm just too darn tired after work to do any of it. It's a miracle that dinner made it on the table 3 x this week (one of those was a frozen pizza. I vow never to make Delissio again when I'm not pregnant!). Tonight I came home to dinner in the oven, the dishes done, and the floor vacuumed. What would I do without my helpful husband? I told him that I thought he was sweet and nice. I just sent him upstairs for a mini fudgesicle - his niceness knows no boundaries.

It's been a busy week. The replacement for my job started on Monday, and she is just great, but I am finding training to be totally exhausting. I also don't think I realized how complicated my job is until I started explaining it to someone. She gets four full weeks of time with me, so I hope she'll be really confident by the time I leave - she is already proving to be a "go-getter" which I both appreciate and find difficult (I am such a control freak). I need to let it go. One week down, three weeks to go. I can do this. I was having some major braxton hicks at work this week, and I tried to hide my discomfort but she could totally tell, and made me promise not to have the baby until after Aug 19. So I promised. I know that braxton hicks aren't a sign of labour, so there is really nothing to worry about, but it still made her a little bit nervous at the thought. Not me though - I am ready for baby to come ANYTIME!!!

This week, my fellow preggo friend Rachelle, and my experienced, mother-of-two friend, Candace went to Toys R Us to complete our baby registries. Candace was there as the product expert, and Rachelle and I sucked up all her knowledge and pretty much went with all her suggestions. It was not as overwhelming going with two friends, and having a personal shopper help me out. I think it's all done now and ready to go, if not even for gifts, but as a check list of all the things I will eventually want to buy if not given as gifts. It felt good to get that done, but my goodness, babies are expensive.

I have found this week to be the most uncomfortable week by far, and I realize it's just going to get worse. I also get up about 4 times a night to pee which is super annoying, but I guess it's just preparing me for sleepless nights with my little sweetness. It's so weird how 5 weeks still feels like forever, but at the same time, feels like tomorrow. Being so busy at work will probably help the next 3 weeks fly, and then boom, life is forever changed.

I had a doctor's appointment this week, and once again I forgot to ask the baby's heartbeat. I had an ice cap about an hour before the appt, and all the doctor said while listening to the heartbeat was, "Well we certainly have a happy baby today!" - he/she is rather active, particularly with a few shots of caffeine. The movements are kind of intense, and there is some full on shifting happening in there. I affectionately call Kevin "shifty" (not "shitty" - read it again) since he can't ever seem to get comfortable, and I think Baby is taking after his/her dad. Shifty Baby is pretty easy to take care of while inside of me, but I don't know how easy Shifty Baby will be to keep happy once he/she hits reality.

I gained 1.5 lbs over the past two weeks, making total weight gain at 26.5 lbs. Maybe just maybe I'll be able to keep this under 30 lbs. I've lost 30 pounds before (South Beach - it works!), so I hope I will find this manageable. Breastfeeding will be my latest diet.

We are doing a maternity photo shoot tomorrow, but I'm not sure my photographer knows that I refuse to bare my belly - no naked shots here, thank you very much. I suppose I should warn her in advance, so that she isn't expecting that. We also have a wedding tomorrow AND it's the long weekend - I'm so SO happy about this fact. All I plan to do on Monday is sleep.

We are settling in for "The Italian Job" (oh tv movies, I love you), I've already missed the first 5 minutes and I'm totally lost, even though I've seen it before. So me, my fudgesicle and my shifty husband & baby are out. Byes.

p.s. I have considered my claim to never make a Delissio pizza outside of a pregnant state, and I retract my vow. That's just ridiculous. Easiest dinner ever - Delissio for life. The end.

things i am convinced of that are probably totally wrong

2011-07-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, first of all, I am SO appreciative of all your comments, suggestions, and sharing your own experiences from my last post - I learned so much from everyone. I'm always taking advice (I know NOTHING), so if you think of other "need to know" things, feel free to share. I made lots of modifications to my lists, and kept other things on the list that you may have suggested not to, which is fine too!

Speaking of knowing nothing, here is a list of reasons why you can be convinced of the fact that I, indeed, very well know nothing.

1. The baby is a girl. I don't really know why I'm so convinced of this, and I honestly have no preference at all (except for the fact that girl clothes are much cuter than boy clothes, AND we like our girls name better than our boys name!). I will actually be surprised if the baby turns out to be a boy - how silly is that?!

2. I won't go past my due date. WHAT A STUPID THING TO BE CONVINCED OF!!!! I have GOT to get over this now.
Due date: Sep 4.
Expected Date of Delivery (according to me): Aug 31 (to avoid sharing birthday month, obviously).
Actual Probable Date of Delivery: Sep 15, seeing as they will induce me at 10 days past my due date, and I'll just give it an extra day for good measure.
Kevin's Estimate for Date of Delivery: Sep 7 (my original due date). Just putting it out there.

3. My labour will be short. So short, in fact, that I will probably get to the hospital and be too far dilated for an epidural (my greatest fear of all). Baby will be born within 4 hours, and it will be not really be a huge deal. Again, I am ridiculous, I know. It's just in my head. I'm okay with having the mindset that labour won't be a huge deal (no need to get all worked up over it, right?), but I do need to get over the idea that it'll only take a few short hours. Get. Over. It.

4. Once the baby is here, I will still be able to shower daily, keep the house tidy (ish), and have supper on the table most nights. Right now I'm only hitting one of those three things (the daily shower, and probably only because I go to work every day), so I don't know what makes me think life is going to be so much easier with a newborn. It's laughable, really. The one thing I really truly think is the whole daily shower thing - I actually don't understand how new mom's can't put the baby down for 5 minutes to shower, even if baby is crying. It's 5 minutes. Right? Am I so wrong here? Probably. I promise to fully admit my naive-ness when I prove myself wrong. Also, I am a little bit obsessed with washing my hair every day (sorry Jilla, it's still true), so maybe it's just a priorities thing. I don't know. I'm probably totally stupid.

5. I will be totally motivated to lose the baby weight. I will eat well, cook healthy, and exercise every other day (once I'm cleared for it, that is). Oh brother.

6. Baby will sleep through the night by 6-8 weeks. Mmhmmm. We'll likely be following "Baby Wise" (maybe not 100% hardcore, but the points that work for us), and I have heard so many success stories from friends, which is the first place I go for advice. I know it takes a lot of commitment on the Mom/Dad side, which is what worries me a bit since it's not easy. Anyway, this is probably a touchy subject. Say what you will. We're giving it a go, and we'll see if it works for us.

7. I know you're totally rolling your eyes and thinking "she is in for a major reality check". Just one more. It's a big one. Life will basically carry on basically as normal. Is this so crazy to think? We want to be parents that are easy going, flexible and make baby fit into our lives, rather than us changing everything to fit baby. Of COURSE there are things we will change in our lives to accommodate baby's needs. I have no doubt that those first few weeks/months will be probably stressful and difficult as everything changes, and I will change any schedule, drop everything, and do anything I need to do to ensure baby is happy, healthy and safe. But we want to be the sort of parents that can bring our baby and future kids anywhere we need to go, still hang out with friends (even past 7 pm - just bring the play pen for heaven's sakes), still go shopping, still go out for dinner (with or without baby), leave baby with trusted family/friends for an evening out, etc. etc. If my 6 month old is crying for 10 minutes, I'm pretty sure I'm okay with that, as long as he/she is safe. Kevin and I are discussing a February vacation, and even the possibility of leaving baby at home. We won't know if this is possible until we meet baby and see what type of personality baby has, and we'll totally bring baby along if that's what is best for him/her. But it is an example of our desire to be flexible, easy going, and still living life with baby and future babies to come :)

Okay. You can stop rolling your eyes now. I'm done. I know I am probably wrong on 99% of these things, and I'm okay with that. It'll be interesting to see how life with baby really turns out and I'm sure you'll hear all about it!

Keeping My Sanity: Ultimate Baby Lists @ 33 weeks

2011-07-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

All comments, suggestions, expertise and opinions are welcomed. If you think something major is missing, chances are I probably already have it, but comment anyway, just in case I don't. Also let me know if I'm being ridiculous with something (particularly in the "to buy" section).

Writing lists makes me happy.
To Do:

1. Wash all the covers for the bouncy seat, car seat, swing, etc.

2. Wash baby’s smaller clothes

3. Wash all the blankets, burp cloths, bibs, etc.

4. Wash crib bedding, bumpers, etc.

5. Put together, or at least open the boxes and examine, all the bigger items– high chair, bouncy seat, stroller, car seat, etc.

6. Frozen meals

7. Install car seat & have it checked at fire hall

8. Find pediatrician? How does this work in Canada?

9. For Me:

hair appointment with Mandy (after Aug 19?)
facial appointment (after Aug 19?) Kevin and my friend Candace bought me a surprise facial at "Sweet Mama", just because they love me! So excited.
pedicure?

10. Finalize Baby Registry at Toys R Us

11. Paper work:

· cancel BX Insurance

· pension

· get EI paperwork ready

· update our will

· possibly contact hospital and register and/or fill out forms?

12. Discuss a new budget

13. Nursery: wallpaper/paint; curtains; storage/org unit for closet; glider; floor lamp; put up pictures; clock; shelves; mobile

14. Organize storage room, pantry and Tupperware cupboard (kill me please).

15. "People to Call" list and contact information for when baby is born

16. Go to Michael Buble concert :)

17. Pack hospital bag.

To Buy:

1. Waterproof mattress cover (1 extra)

2. Extra fitted crib sheets (I have 2 - I was thinking 2 more?)

3. Breastfeeding book

4. Nightlight for nursery

5. Baby hangers

6. Q-tips/cotton balls & rubbing alcohol (for umbilical cord)

7. Baby kit: nail file, clippers, hair brush, comb, thermometer, nail scissors, medicine dropper, eye dropper, bulb syringe (wt-heck is this?)

8. Baby hamper for nursery

9. Couple of nursing tops/tank tops

10. Try out nursing bra/buy new (or wait a couple weeks after breast feeding?)

11. Infant Tylenol, reg strength Tylenol for me

12. Lansinoh breast pads, nipple cream

13. Sanitary pads & witch hazel pads/cream?

14. Diaper rash cream (balmex?)

15. Possible portable/travel change pad (see if diaper bag one is sufficient)

16. Change table/dresser

17. Change pad and covers (2)

18. 5 pack of granny panties for hospital and afterwards

19. Baby memory book

20. Baby safe laundry detergent

21. Baby washcloths (12) and bibs

22. Baby socks, caps, scratch mittens

23. Hooded towels for bath (2)

24. Sleep sack

25. Mobile

26. Feeding chair or highchair (not immediate purchase)

27. Swing (not immediate purchase)

28. Swaddling blankets (2?)

29. Baby monitor (wait and hope to receive at shower?)

Hospital Bag:

For Me:

1. Book (light reading -I'm thinking Jennifer Weiner's new one, "Then Came You")

2. Robe

3. Slippers

4. Shampoo/conditioner

5. Face cleansing/make up remover wipes

6. Make up

7. Glasses, contact solution and contact lenses holder case

8. Toothbrush & paste

9. Soap (dove bar)

10. Breast pump (I hear they will teach you how to use it at the hospital if you bring it)

11. Comfy clothes (at least 2 pairs of lounge pants, 2-3 tank tops, 1 comfy hoodie)

12. Flip flops for shower

13. Socks

14. Body pillow/regular pillow (with pillowcase that is not white)

15. Hair elastics/lulu lemon headband

16. Going home outfit

17. Granny panties (5 pack)

For Kevin:

1. Bathing suit (this seems silly, but it's in case of C-section birth - I'd rather Kevin help me with a shower afterwards, than a nurse....I think).

2. Extra change of clothes

3. Sleeping clothes & moccasins

4. Sweater

5. Toiletries

6. Pillow with pillowcase that is not white

For Baby:

1. Going home outfit

2. Newborn sleepers (4-5)

3. Receiving blankets (3)

4. Manicure kit for baby (nail file and baby scissors)

5. Baby socks (6), newborn caps (3), baby scratch mittens

6. Baby travel pack (Jergens shampoo/wash/soap/etc - it's a prepackaged box)

For Everyone:

1. gum/snacks

2. laptops and chargers

3. iPhones and chargers

4. cameras (both) and battery charger

5. dvds

6. spare change (parking; vending machines, etc.)

7. ID (birth certificates, passports, marriage certificate, etc)

hilarious.

2011-07-16T11:49:00.000-07:00

I've seen this floating around the old interweb here and there, and think it's funny. Thankfully, these "scenarios/actions/comments" have not been my experience, but here's what I'd say (in my head) if I did experience them.

I repeat: I did not write this! It just made me laugh.

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women, as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn’t mean me – then you should probably read this twice.

1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ‘Congratulations!’ with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.

2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father – not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ‘my baby’.

3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it…

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is ‘You look fabulous!’.

6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren’t invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won’t be invited to be there when it comes out either.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent’s home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to ‘help out’. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Sincerely,

All the Pregnant Women in the World

32.5 weeks

2011-07-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't felt much like blogging lately, mainly because I haven't been feeling that great. The third trimester has been brought to you (well, me) by the letter H: hot, heavy, heartburn and hungry. Add a little N for nauseous and E for emotional roller coaster, and you there you have it. Yay. I have started a few posts here and there and usually give up. I emailed my Mom this morning and gave her a good long update, so basically, I am just taking that email and turning it into a blog post so that I don't go too long without an update. I blog for me, and bring you along for the ride, so it's important to me that I am consistent with the updates and how I'm feeling. Thanks for reading along, and I always love your comments and support.

I had a doctor’s appt this morning. Baby is measuring perfectly: 32 cm at 32.5 weeks (most measure within a few cms of how many weeks you are). What a good little fetus. Hehe. I forgot to ask the heartbeat rate, but it was still there, so that’s really all that matters anyway! Blood pressure is good, pee sample was good (ha!), it’s all good. I’ve now gained 25 lbs. I’m totally on track for what is normal, which is actually surprising since I like chocolate milk and honey crullers A LOT. I should gain up to 10 more lbs in the next 8 weeks, but I hope not quite that much. Baby is feeling huge, well, I am feeling quite huge and tired and super emotional (up and down and all over the place. Lucky Kevin). I have not really enjoyed this trimester at all but it helps to know that I’m nearing the end.

We interviewed 5 people for my job yesterday. I would hire 3 out of 5 of them, so all in all, they went very well. I am hoping she will be hired by next week and will get a good 4 weeks of training in with me. After this week, I only have 5 weeks of work left! Awesome. I am still happy to come to work at this point – I am still able to hop (okay, roll) out of bed pretty good and I don’t think I’d have enough to do if I were at home every day. Plus, there is actually a lot of work to do preparing to leave work, and I want to leave everything perfect and easy to take over for my replacement. So I’ve been feeling moderately busy but not over the top. When my replacement comes, I will very quickly transition things to her so that she can jump right in. It’ll be good timing because I sure won’t feel like doing it, and she’ll be all new and motivated. It’s a win-win!

So, our prenatal class. It was an all-day class on Saturday, and it was good. I was glad we went, and it helped me with a few things in particular, like knowing when to go to the hospital, and it described the “stages” of labour, which I like because I will be able to get through it better knowing I have completed a stage and am on to the next stage. I also thought it was good for Kevin to hear things coming from the nurse, rather than from me, reading him something out of a book. A lot of other women there were REALLY grumpy, and he told Rachelle that he was glad his wife isn’t grumpy – it’s good for him to see and compare how I could be! The labour video was scary and gross, and Kevin and I had to console each other afterwards. The breastfeeding video also had more boobs than "Wedding Crashers" even though they weren't sexy boobs, they were just ugly boobs. Yay. Other than that, it was all pretty uneventful, besides Kevin having to always be the "funny" one whenever we are in an awkward/silent group situation. He really was funny but also a little bit embarrassing. I had to tell him to get ahold of himself once or twice.

We went to West Ed afterwards and I got two pairs of jeans for $35 (in total, hi-ya), but no summer dresses which is all I am on the hunt for. I can’t find any maternity summer dresses for under $35, and I can’t handle spending that much when regular summer dresses are $10-15 everywhere else, and I only have 8-ish weeks left. It’s annoying. I am so glad it’s been rainy and cool here lately. It makes a huge difference. After shopping we went to Cactus Club with Jenna and Taigan who were visiting for the weekend. I liked my weekend visitors very much. I think they should move in with me, and live in our basement, and entertain me at all times.

Ta ta for now.

31 weeks (and 3 days)

2011-07-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

nursery update

2011-07-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

There are not a lot of changes yet, but here is an update of our progress so far.

None of the pictures are hung exactly where they will be staying, but I put a couple up anyway, just because there were hooks there from previous wall hangings.

I still have plans to paint and wallpaper a feature wall (behind the crib), but I haven't made any decisions on colour or pattern yet. I definitely need a colour scheme. Curtains will make a big difference too.

Here's what we have so far!

The butt-ugly dresser will be replaced with a new dresser/change table (probably from Ikea), that is the same "eggshell white" as the little bookshelf beside the glider.

I think I would like a dresser that is much higher, almost up to the same height as the edge of the crib. We are just putting a change table pad on top of the dresser to be.

The new uncomfortable glider that is going back. Maybe glider #4 will be a winner.

The plan for the stack of badly hidden diapers is to neatly store them in some kind of amazing closet storage that currently only exists in my head. And I would like a nice floor lamp behind/beside the glider.

So, our crib has been recalled, for cosmetic reasons, apparently. I don't have the full details yet, but the bottom line is, Toys R Us isn't selling the matching dresser anymore. Sarah from Sarah's House just told me that it's okay to mix and match wood tones, as long as there is more than one piece of each wood tone. Literally, she JUST said that (I'm watching her renovate a basement as I type). So I am hoping that the eggshell white bookshelf, dresser and picture frames will work with the darker cherry wood crib, new glider, mirror, and any other accessories we choose.

That's all so far. I can't wait to put some colour and personality in it!

I already spend a lot of time in here. I can barely walk by without stepping in and looking around, wondering about the little life that is going to fill it pretty soon!

2011-06-30T10:39:00.000-07:00

June may have been the fastest month of my life. If July and August go this fast, I may as well head to the hospital right now to have the baby. I hope this summer FLIES by... I may never say that again!

We had another doctor's appointment yesterday, and things are going good. My test came back negative for Gestational Diabetes which is great, and I celebrated by having two pastries from Cobbs this morning. What? A lady from work brought them in. I was just showing her my gratitude. Speaking of pastries, I gained 2 lbs in the last 3 weeks, and am up a grand total of 23 lbs. With just under 10 weeks to go, I hope I can keep it at around 1 lb/week, keeping me in the target range of 25-35 lbs (recommended for my height and starting BMI). I'm happy with the way this is going so far.

Baby's heartbeat was 136 (same as last time) and man, it took FOREVER to find yesterday. I was starting to freak out but eventually the baby came out of hiding. Don't love that. I knew it had to be there since I had been bullied by the baby all afternoon from the inside out, but still. Little munchkin.

Other than that, not much else is new. Yesterday I waited 2.5 hours to see my doctor. My appointment was at 3:30 - I didn't see him til 6 pm. He had a delivery to attend to in the middle of the day. Totally unacceptable, no? Sigh, of course that is totally to be expected. Especially when you think that in 2 months, I'll be that girl that screws 25 other preggos day up, since the Dr will be attending to MY labor! Note to self: book all future appts first thing in the morning (and really, will that even make a difference? Why shouldn't some other woman go into labor at 8:55 that am?). Tis just the way it goes.

It was pretty miserable in that office though. Everyone was annoyed, it was probably 35 degrees in the office, and they don't even have a fan. Then there was a torrential rain storm, hail, lightning, the works, which finally cooled the office down and gave us all some relief (even though I got soaked leaving the office!). But the nurse and the doctor are just so incredibly nice and cute that I just couldn't be mad when they apologized 900 times each. I absolutely love the nurse there - I would like her to attend my labor. She is just the cutest thing EVER.

Today Kevin has the day off, and is putting together a little piece of the nursery (just a mini bookshelf/side table next to the glider). I love how it's all coming together. I can't wait for it to be finished! My mom and dad can't come soon enough to help me do that!

Have I talked about how incredibly generous people have been? I am overwhelmed by it. We were recently given an Eddie Bauer play pen, a baby monitor and a baby gate (by the same person); another dear friend gave me a diaper warmer, diaper genie, bouncy seat and a jogging stroller is to come; someone else is giving me a swing; the same girl who gave me her entire maternity wardrobe gave me her jolly jumper (the sister of the girl who gave me the play pen - funny story: when I went to pick up the goods from her, she says, "I'm SURE I have a jolly jumper somewhere, but I couldn't find it", and then I was like, "Ummmm, I think I have it - your sister gave it to me!"). My own sister gave me a baby bath, a bumbo, and an Exersaucer. I'm so grateful. Not to mention the gifts have already started coming in, and it's just so so fun. I'm loving this time in my life (and not just because I like presents).

I have never been talked to by strangers SO MUCH as I have in the last few weeks. Everyone talks to me. Everyone predicts it's a girl (seriously. Everyone). I have been called "oh you poor lady" (when I was fanning myself with an envelope in a long line up). Thankfully I haven't heard "you look ready to pop" or "are you sure there aren't twins in there?" which I am so glad about because I would probably cry. I have been called "massive" and two months ago, the same person told me I already looked 9 months, but it was from a well meaning, clueless person and it actually makes me laugh because she just has no idea. I probably have some good growing to do in the next few weeks, and I think these changes will be the most "alarming" of all! I better get myself some frocks to wear. Pretty!

It's Canada Day LONG WEEKEND and we have lots of fun plans with friends and each other! Woo hoo for summer!

30 weeks

2011-06-26T20:56:00.000-07:00

Wow, 30 weeks. As Rebecca put it, we're in the homestretch now! I'm so excited. A little nervous to see what changes these next 10 weeks will do to my body, but more excited than ever to meet this little person.

I've been a bit more "down in the dumps" these last few days. It started on Thursday morning when I had to do a 2.5 hour blood test at the lab. I was tested for Gestational Diabetes - AWESOME. I haven't heard from the doc yet, and chances are that I don't actually have it, but it was just a precautionary when my glucose screen came back 1 point higher than it should have been. Anyway, it was absolutely brutal. I had to fast 12 hours, which ended up being 14 hours by the time I got to the lab at 9 am on Thurs. Then it was almost 3 more hours before I was allowed to eat, so it worked out to be 17 hours without food. Um, I eat every 15 minutes. It was horrible. Not only that, but we all know my fear of needles, or actually, I think it's blood that I have a problem with - well I had to have my blood tested 3 times over the 2.5 hours, and each time they couldn't get a vein. All in all, I was poked 9 or 10 times, once bleeding completely through the gauze they use to bandage you all up with. Um, sometimes being "speedy" isn't the best thing for a patient. I was totally bruised afterwards, in both arms. I looked like a junkie. By the third test, the one lady was kind enough to use a "butterfly" needle - you know, like what they use for children. I would like to request that from now on :) The one good thing is that since I always ask to lie down for blood tests (due to notorious fainting episodes), the one nice lady let me stay in the little room for the entire 2.5 hours. I had brought a book, and I slept for the first hour.

Anyway, by the time it was finished, I was light headed, nauseous and exhausted. There was no way I was going to work for the afternoon like I planned, and I actually spent the rest of the day in bed. I'm not sure if I was just being super dramatic (I've been told I have dramatic tendencies) or if it really was that bad, but to me, it really was that bad. Anyway, if the test comes back positive for GDS, I'm hoping that it can be controlled with diet, rather than poking myself 4 times a day to test my blood. I might actually die if I have to do that. My weight gain has been completely steady and normal, the doctor said the baby is growing "perfectly", and I have been eating quite well throughout this entire pregnancy (but I am not saying I haven't had sugar at all). I would be very surprised if it comes back positive. However, pregnancy hormones can block insulin from doing it's job properly, and it's as simple as that - it often has nothing to do with diet (although I doubt my gummy worm obsession has helped). Anyhow, we'll find out what the verdict is on Wednesday at my next OB appt.

I've been a little bit "off" ever since. Kevin has had "stuff" up every night since last Thursday, including all day staff training Saturday and today, and things aren't really looking up for next week - it's just as busy (thankfully next week there is more social stuff that we're both going to). Me, on the other hand, have basically been at home. A lot. By myself. Since Thursday. I love being by myself, but it's been a bit much lately. Not only that, my first trimester tiredness has returned. Actually, let's call it first trimester plus half of the 2nd trimester tiredness. I had about 5 good, energy driven weeks between, oh 24 - 29 weeks. And now I'm back to oh so tired and lack of motivation. I don't feel like doing anything, which really sucks. I forced myself to go grocery shopping tonight after a 2 hour nap between 5 - 7 pm (gonna regret that one at midnight), and am so glad I did because I stocked up on lots of healthy snacks for the week ahead. Fruit is in abundance at the store, which is so exciting, and I got peaches, grapes, a cantaloupe, and I still have strawberries, nectarines and apples from a quick stop at the store yesterday. Fruit is high in natural sugar, so I do hope that if the GDS test does come back positive, that I could still eat it. Better eat it all before Wednesday just to be safe. I also got oatmeal for breakfasts, trail mix to add to salads, and mini V8 juices for afternoon slumps.

Anyway, I haven't had much down-ness at all in this pregnancy, so I'm thankful that it hasn't been a reoccurring issue for me. My family does have a history of depression, so I do watch for signs of it. However, whatever emotional ups and downs I experience have always been controlled by getting a bit of exercise, eating smart, and spending time with my husby and friends (i.e. just the right amount of "alone time" which has been in excess lately!). I'm gonna try a mix of my own remedies, starting as soon as my love gets home tonight - wouldn't you know, he's walking in the door right now.

Father's Day (weekend)

2011-06-20T09:49:00.000-07:00

As my facebook and twitter status' read: "Another day in the office = another day of baby's foot lodged in my ribs (baby's preferred position when I sit). My favorite." I realized as we were driving home from Saskatoon yesterday that I had relief from your favorite (& most uncomfortable) position all weekend... and it occurred to me that you only maneuver your way into my ribs when I have been sitting for awhile. Okay! Well only 45 more "baby in ribs" days left (in other words, only 45 more actual work days left - I don't count weekends).... I can do this. Really, if that's all I have to complain about (today anyway), then things aren't so bad.

We spent the weekend in Saskatoon, celebrating two precious fathers (I'm sure your Dad will be thrilled to read that I just described him as precious). But they are to me. My dad (your Papa) has been the greatest example to me of parenting with love and grace. Be prepared to be a little spoiled by Papa - he loves his grand kids. Case in point - Saskatoon had a beautiful day last week, and Papa took the afternoon off work, picked up Haylie and Kayden from daycare/school, and took them swimming at an outdoor swimming pool - complete with new bathing suits since Papa was being rather spontaneous. Haylie loves her new pink suit with crabs on it! There are countless examples of days like this from my own childhood, and I know you will be loved greatly, and be shown that love exuberantly (as only Grandpa's can do). Papa loves presents, and we all chipped in to get him a personal Keurig coffee maker for his office.

We of course also celebrated your own Dad, who isn't quite prepared to literally call himself a father until you make an appearance. But I know he is starting to think of himself as one as your day of birth quickly approaches! It's pretty easy for me to think of myself as a mother already, since I feel like you are SUCH a part of me - I literally feel you every single day moving around in there. Your Dad doesn't get quite the same experience as me - his experience so far has been completely external, from feeling your random kicks (although he left his hand on my stomach the other night when we were going to sleep, and I am convinced you were putting on a show for him - you've been rather shy to kick for him until then!); to putting together the third glider in the nursery (that I think we are taking back. Another story for another blog); to watching my tummy (therefore, you!) grow bigger and bigger by the week. I made him a card out of construction paper and signed it from you - hope you don't mind. I told him that you can't wait to meet him, even though we both know that it's more like we can't wait to meet you. I also bought him an expansion game of Settlers, since he'll be wanting to teach you to play by the time you're about 10 months old, and some biking stuff - sleeveless, breathable sports shirts (no farmer's tans for my hubs!) and a water bottle holder and water bottle. He's all ready for a summer of biking to work.

Also in our thoughts was Grandpa J who was a province away - another great man who is going to love you and probably spoil you like nobody else will. There is something special about a grandparents love. I can't wait to watch you grow up and be surrounded by our amazing family. You've got it pretty good, there baby cakes! Now if only we can find a way to be closer to everyone. It's always more difficult being so far away from family.

All in all, you have an amazing father and two special grandfathers who were well deserved in being honored yesterday. They each have unique and wonderful things to teach you, and I'm feeling pretty blessed to have them in our lives. Sometimes the world is a scary, sad place. But I know that these three men in your life will always be a pillar of strength and stability for you like they already are for me. And they will love you and always pray for you, no matter what.

And so will I.

Really, I must stop writing all these tear jerkers! Ridiculous how I can't write a blog without tearing up! Bring back the funny stuff, Kristin!

Ok, getting ahold of myself... must get another cup of coffee. We didn't get back in town till just after 10 pm last night, and 6 am sure came early this morning. Your Dad drove me to work (such a treat!) so that he could have the car on this very rainy day off, and I've sent him to do all kinds of fun errands like groceries, recycling the cans and I think he's giving blood (ugh). Our plans tonight - Dad is off to play dodgeball, and you and I are going out to watch the Bachelorette with my favorite girlfriends. So, just for kicks, say you were born already, and you are a boy, you would be going off with Dad tonight, and if you are a girl, you'd be hanging with me and the girls. Although realistically, you'd be hanging out with me no matter what, since I don't really want my newborn baby to be hit in the head with a dodgeball. Hope you like reality TV, babes (the food will be better where I am, anyway. Win-win).

MWAH! I can't wait to kiss your cute little face and cheeks and feet and all over (okay, so I can see why you might rather hang out with Dad. He's probably less embarrassing than I am).

Psalm 139: 13 - 18

2011-06-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

¹³ For You formed my inward parts;
         You covered me in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
         Marvelous are Your works,
         And that my soul knows very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
         When I was made in secret,
         And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written,
         The days fashioned for me,
         When as yet there were none of them.

¹⁷ How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
         How great is the sum of them!
¹⁸ If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
         When I awake, I am still with You.

3 years ago...

2011-06-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

Three years ago today, I walked down the aisle to meet your Dad.

Not just to say hi. More like to let him know that I was planning on saying "Good Morning" to him for the next, oh 60+ years or so.

Look how handsome he is. I married the best looking man in the world. He's even hotter now.

It was pouring rain for most of the day and yet it couldn't have been more perfect. I wouldn't have changed a thing (except for my hair at the reception. What was I thinking? I should have just blow dried the whole "do" and wore it down. Hindsight).

Rain = Hair Disaster.

When I look back at the pictures, I am reminded of the deep love and excitement that we shared for each other and our future, and how nothing else in the world mattered. Not even the rain. Or my messy, wet hair. Or the fact that we left the sanctuary doors open so that we have this bright yellow and green "missions" board in all the pics of anyone walking down the aisle. Lovely.

But otherwise, not a thing.

Look how in love we were. And to think I love your Dad even more today.

We had our best friends and family stand up for us. I am so happy to know that these people will remain our forever friends (some of them have to because they are your aunts and uncles!). They already love you too, you know.

I pray that God will bring you forever friends too.

We also had really pretty flowers.

And then we flew away to paradise, and oh my, life was good:

At this point, you were just a tiny little thought in our minds (but you were there - we prayed for you and our future family one night on our honeymoon). The family that we looked forward to having began right there at the alter as we vowed to be faithful and to love and cherish each other for the rest of our lives. There is no doubt that there are less-than-easy days, and days I don't necessarily feel like selflessly loving your Dad. There are days that bills and work and activities and church and busy-ness seem to take over the week or even the month. But there is also no doubt that our love for you (and the rest of our family to come) has begun in our love for each other which is not always perfect, but always committed, faithful, and forever.

Your Dad and I did not just commit to each other 3 years ago, but to the family that we were excited to have one day - and here you are, already on your way. I pray that God will help us be the best example you will ever find of a husband and wife who love to love each other with grace and forgiveness and laughter. We are thankful to have two of the best examples in our own parents, and I know you will see that too. I pray that you will feel joy and peace in our home, and that you will always feel safe and secure and loved.

I pray more than anything that you will never settle for anything less than what God has for you in your own choice of spouse. If you are my daughter, I pray that the right man will be brought up to love you and cherish you perfectly. I will do my best to show you how to love and respect your future husband in the way I love your Dad, and hopefully how to prepare the perfect Sunday roast (I still have lots of time, right?). If you are my son, I pray that we will teach you to cherish your wife and to put her needs before your own. I pray that you will know how to make her feel special. I pray that she will be brought up to treat you like gold and to love you like no other. I pray that whoever they are will love Jesus more than anything, and that they will save their truest and best love for you - and you for them.

These past 3 years with your Dad have been some of the best years of my life. But what's really cool is that we're just getting started. We can't wait to meet you. Please don't grow up too fast, but since you will anyway, I hope you will one day understand how excited we are to become parents and to love you - this little person that we have somehow weirdly created. I hope we're ready for this (and I hope you're ready for us).

Now if only we could do something about whatever body part you currently have lodged in my rib cage. Seriously. Move, please!

28 weeks... and the countdown is ON!

2011-06-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

I think it's safe to say I am excited.

I just love you little baby boo!
(practicing my baby talk)

Babies don't come cheap

2011-06-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

Purchased this week:

Medela Mini Electric Breast Pump and Refill Kit. Still can't get over the cow-ness of this. I decided to go with a single electric because I do not expect to be pumping every single day - more on an "as needed" basis. So I hope that this will be sufficient.
$60 worth of newborn and 0-3 month sleepers and onesies, all in various shades of greys, browns, yellows, greens and white. They are almost all name brand, 2nd hand from "Once Upon a Child" - ranging from $2.50 - $5.00 per item! Obviously I love new things, but we just can't spend $20 per sleeper when I need 6000 of them.
Dyson Vacuum (again, used, off of kijiji.ca).

Did I just put the dyson in the same category as baby items? Um. I think I did. A clean floor = a healthy baby. And man, can this thing clean a floor like nobody's business. I'm in love. Good thing I love is so much since I have declared it my anniversary present to myself, hoping to ease the phsycial pain Kevin feels when a lot of money is being spent. Such a trooper. Love him - 3 years on the 14th :)

2011-06-05T19:04:00.000-07:00

Hello itty bitty Love,

My, you are coming soon. 13 more weeks? Hard to believe, especially since time is just flying by so fast. We try to imagine our life with you and we cannot fathom it. I guess we'll just have to wait a little while longer to experience it for ourselves.

We have a lot to do still. Your nursery is at a stand-still. We took back the first glider only to bring home a 2nd faulty one. I was so disappointed. I think I'm done with Walmart furniture (should have known, really). I feel like I can't do anything in your little room until that is set up. I'm not really sure what is with my glider obsession, but it feels like an integral part of your room. Papa (Eagle) has promised to come wallpaper your room in August when Daddy is away for a week, and Nana will come with him and help me with all your last preparations. She has the gift of making everything perfect, and dealing with everything that I get overwhelmed with - like storage solutions and putting up curtains, for example. And Papa will paint and wallpaper, and do whatever Nana tells him to do. They rock.

Speaking of that week, can you believe Daddy is taking off for a week in August? I will be 36 weeks pregnant, but no big deal, right?! Ha! He'll be at an "youth at risk" teen camp, and I know it's for a great cause, but still, I have a little bit of anxiety about it. He's also committed to doing two weddings in the two Saturdays before you are due. I know it'll all be fine, but it's definitely not the best timing! I think that it'll be okay because I'll be off of work by then, and I keep thinking that Saturdays are our only day to get ready for you. But by August 19, I'll have all day long to get ready for you, for two straight weeks....give or take!!! Anyway, as long as somebody I know is always within a 10 km radius of wherever I am in those last few weeks, we're golden. I'm sure there's an iPhone app for that will take me to the hospital if not.

I bought you (okay, me) a Baby Bullet this week. I'm so freaking excited about it. It was a bit early to buy, since I know you won't be eating any solid foods until you are at least 4 - 6 months old, but it was on sale, and I figured oh, why not. May as well buy these things while we still have two incomes coming in. I have high hopes that I will make all your baby food instead of using the canned stuff. I read that the canned baby foods have all sorts of disgusting products in them (um, like bugs for example - sick. Is that true?!!!). Plus, making it myself should save us some money. Anyway, I'm totally getting ahead of myself since this is a long way off yet! First, let's just get you all ready for life, inside my tummy.

This week I'm promising myself that your Dad and I will start walking in the evenings. Starting tomorrow. For realzies. I'm prone to coming home from work and just crashing, so I'm hoping an evening ritual walk will help with all sorts of things.... you give me all sorts of aches and pains and I feel like you have your foot lodged permanently in my upper right ribs, and you give me a good jab every now and then. It hurts. But I kinda love it. Your movements have changed in the last few days. They have become stronger and I feel more movement then just individual kicks. You are a squirmy little thing. We can see your kicks from the outside now which is just the craziest thing ever! It's one thing to feel the movements, and a whole other thing to see "you" in front of our eyes. You bring me so much joy already. I am ecstatic to meet you! But not quite yet... not until the glider is set up (and the pack and play is purchased, oh, and the breast pump, and probably more than 2 sleepers, and until I have come to peace with the stroller I have already bought you, etc. etc. etc.).

At least love is free.

Love, Mom

p.s. I would just like to give you 100% credit for the fact that I completely organized the laundry room yesterday. It looks amazing. Nesting might be one of the best parts of pregnancy. Maybe storage solutions in your room will be figured out before Nana and Papa come after all. What will be left for her to do?! I'm sure I could leave the storage room for her... perfect.

new.

2011-05-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

1. I am hot. HOT HOT HOT. It comes and goes, but when it comes, I'm overwhelmed to the point of taking off layers. Good thing I work alone.

2. Lately - starving. I eat constantly, all day long. I've already eaten 2 bowls of cereal, a p& j sandwich, a banana and a yogurt this morning. Oh, and some cheese. It's 10:30 am. And I'm making lunch plans. Burgers, anyone? However, once I get home I don't really to eat all evening - I'm just not hungry. Poor Kevin. When it's a big deal to make a can of mushroom soup and grill a hot dog for dinner, you know things are bad. However.......

3. ......I think I feel like cooking again..... I say this with extreme caution. Do not get your hopes up that this will actually happen. I just have had some inklings.

4. I am in "Pre-Nesting" mode. Clutter be gone. Haven't used it in 2 weeks? GARBAGE! Clothes on the floor NO MORE (this is partly due to the fact that I only have 4 pairs of maternity underwear and I will gladly do laundry every 4 days in order to wear them every.single.day). Dishes in the sink? That's pushing it a bit... but the dishes annoy me to no end. I wish them away. It doesn't happen. Point is, I am the tidy police.

5. Speaking of laundry, I learned that you should not put any mat clothes in the dryer. Glad that I learned this literally after a morning of laundry, putting all my new mat clothes in the dryer. The dryer stretches the lycra in the material and that, my friends is not okay. I showed some girls at work how my mat jeans have this stretchy panel all up my tummy and they were in awe. I think they wanted to laugh at how ridiculous it all is. I think I may have heard a snicker when I turnd my head. I don't care. Long live the maternity panel.

6. I have to concentrate when I walk to put one foot in front of the other in a normal fashion. The waddle has begun - and it just feels so good.

24 weeks

2011-05-18T11:31:00.000-07:00

I didn't take a nice picture at home this weekend like I normally do, so the bathroom at work today will have to do the trick! Ha! Here's me and Baby at 24 weeks (and 3 days. When you're pregnant, those 3 days matter, a lot.)

We are happy together.

clumsy

2011-05-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

I just had an embarrasing moment.

I hire tutors for students with disabilities. I had just hired this guy and we were meeting to go over all the paperwork and details. Not 30 seconds after I shook his hand and he sat down, did I tip over my just-filled-to-the-brim water bottle, and spilled 1 litre of water allllllllllll over him, the desk, his paperwork and the floor. It was EVERYWHERE. We may as well have been sitting in the splash zone at Seaworld, minus Shamu.

Who knew the cap was loose?

I blamed it on being pregnant. I told him that pregnancy makes you clumsy. He'll never know what it's like to be preggo, so I can say whatever I want. Thanks, baby. He took it very nicely.

I wonder if I can blame my shopping habbits on the baby too.

Week 23: Mother's Day, One-Car Families & Weight Gain

2011-05-12T08:28:00.000-07:00

Well, where to start.

This past weekend was Mother's Day, and I milked it for all it was worth. I like to turn any day that celebrates me into a weekend affair (or better yet, monthly affair, i.e. I present to you: Birthday Month), and Kevin cooperated beautifully. Friday night he asked me if I would like to spend the day on Saturday shopping/walking around Whyte Ave, stopping for a Chapters/Starbucks date (one of our most favorite ways to spend time together) and then we could stop at Toys R Us on the way home to do our registry. I was elated - Kevin has NEVER suggested we window shop Whyte Ave, and I was pumped.

We woke up to pouring rain on Saturday, and our plans were kind of thrown out the door. The thought was nice. Instead we went to Toys R Us, & were completely overwhelmed by all the "stuff" that we have no idea if we *really* need or not. Plus, everything feels SO gender specific. And I feel like I have to research EVERYTHING before I decide I want it...which booster seat is the most sturdy? If I get a booster seat, could I skip the high chair altogether? Do I want a swinging seat that goes left to right, or front to back? Or both? Do I need the whole bassinet and change table ensemble on the play pen? Will my baby like waterfall sounds or chirping birds? Do I want a monitor for just sound or should I splurge to get the one that monitors if the baby is breathing, or would that freak me out too much? Or do I want the video monitor? Super expensive Baby Bjorn, or less expensive brand, and if so, one that goes on the front AND the back, or get the "breathable" one? Do babies really care if their wipes are WARMED UP?!! Should I get an electric pump or a manual pump, double or single - yes I just went there. It's important. Ahhhh overwhelmed. There were too many choices, and that doesn't even include the gazillion brands of soothers, bottles, teething toys, etc etc.

We did our best. It was sort of fun.

Then we went to Chapters & Starbucks which was FAR more relaxing, and we were just in time for half price frapps. Ever since I discovered the greatest invention ever - the library - I have a hard time purchasing books. I just take my iPhone out and order all the books at the library that I would have previously bought. I'm reading more than ever, and more books are always ready for me to pick up. Smrt.

We ended the afternoon at Walmart, where we bought a glider for the nursery. But then we brought it home and discovered a huge crack in the seat. So we're taking it back. Which totally sucks because it was not easy to shove that huge mother box into Kevin's car. What.A.Pain. Plus I was annoyed because it was supposed to be my Mother's Day gift - look at me, turning something we have to buy anyway into a gift. I'm so thrifty.

We spent the evening eating leftover Panago pizza, cold for me, heated up for Kevin. One of the BEST moment in pregnancy for me so far was the night Kevin brought me home leftover Ham & Pineapple pizza (I have never, ever ordered H&P before) from a meeting they had earlier in the day. I ate it cold at like 10 pm, and it was pretty much the best thing I have ever tasted. And we watched "The King's Speech" which was just awesome. Loved it. What a great day, despite the rain and the crappy glider.

Sunday was a beautiful sunny day, and after church I was treated to lunch at Moxie's, and then spent the whole afternoon napping. So I missed most of the beautiful sunny day, but I will take a good, solid nap any day. I could use one right now in fact. And it's another beautiful sunny day (23 degrees!) but I am at work in my hole of an office. My work girls and I are going for Vietnamese at lunch today, so I'll take in a bit of the sunshine walking over to the restaurant. I just calculated 99 more work days left... that rocks.

Speaking of going off work, Kevin and I are thinking of ways to save money when we go down to one income (although I will have EI, but they have a stupid weekly maximum) and it just so happens the lease on my car is up. Like, this weekend. Between the lease payment, outrageous AB insurance, soaring gas prices, plates and upkeep, we figure we'll save around $700/month going down to one car. I am biting-my-nails nervous about what this means for us, but we're going to try and make it work. We have a few months to give it a trial run, anyway.

In better news, I saw my OB for the first time yesterday, and I got a prescription for Zantac for my heartburn. Sweet sweet relief. Baby's heartbeat was strong and was159. Blood pressure, good as always, and weight gain is at 13.5 lbs. I record this stuff more for myself, just so I have something to compare to in future pregnancies. I like my OB. He told me that the wait for appointments is always long (I waited an hour) and that I should bring my game boy. I'll do that. The biggest con I had regarding the whole appointment was that I had to take my shoes off at the door and I had barefeet and BARE FEET GROSS ME OUT. Not just mine, but a whole waiting room of bare feet? I was sicked out. Gross. I guess it's that time of the year that I keep a pair of socks in my purse for emergencies.

I greatly fear the huge weight gain that many women experience. And frankly, I am not doing a whole lot to monitor my weight. Its been reasonable so far, and although I'm not worried about it, I do not want to get out of control. So I wonder - at what point in your pregnancies did you gain the most weight? Right now I just eat when I'm hungry. In fact, my appetite is pretty much the same now as it was pre-pregnancy, and I think I just eat normal. Sometimes I'm less hungry than normal, which is weird. One thing about food is that I just REALLY enjoy everything I eat. Everything just tastes so good. Anyway, with approximately 17 more weeks left, I'm estimating a pound/week which would bring me to 30.5 lbs gain - I assume I'll gain more, but hey, it's a good goal to strive for I guess. Is a pound/week reasonable? According to the books, it is (in fact, they say 2 lbs/week in the last few weeks). Reality might be a different story.

Just did my spell check, and the one word in the English language that I spell consistently wrong is "restaurant". Thought you'd like to know that.

And finally - have you discovered Pinterest? I am seriously in love with this site. Check.It.Out.

The end.

22 weeks

2011-05-03T16:47:00.000-07:00

here's a pic that didn't make it on facebook, mainly because of how obviously high waisted my pants are. not my favorite look :)

Prediction

2011-05-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

.....Only one more week of being able to zip up my spring jacket.

Thanks, Baby, for waiting to grow bigtime until the weather got a little bit more cooperative. Much appreciated.

22 weeks

2011-05-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Baby,

17 more Saturdays to go until we meet you! This is basically how I measure my time now. Saturday seems to come and go so quickly. 17 (or 18... or 19) more of them, just your Dad and I, is really not that many. We'll definitely be getting a few more trips to Toys R Us in there.

I read yesterday that you are just over 1 lb now, but that in the next 4 weeks, you are going to double in size/weight. Whew. That's a lot of growing. I assume this exponential growth will reflect on my body very shortly. I'm excited. But also a little nervous of all the changes. I already ache and groan and moan every time I get off the couch or out of bed. It's a very dramatic process.

Speaking of dramatic, what is WITH this crazy heartburn? I've never experienced it a day in my life before, and now I can't drink a glass of water without reaching for the Tums.

This is what one article has to say about it:

Don't eat foods that are known heartburn triggers. These include chocolate, citrus fruits and juices, tomatoes and tomato-based products, mustard, vinegar, mint products, and spicy, highly seasoned, fried, and fatty foods(Um - what is left to eat????).

Avoid drinks containing caffeine (coffee, tea, cola) because these can relax the LES and allow acid to reflux back into the esophagus(I think I'll take my daily cup of coffee and deal with the heartburn, thanks)

Wait at least three hours after your last meal before going to bed (This is simply laughable).

However, heartburn also predicts that you'll have lots of hair (http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/photos_Popular_Pregnancy_Myths/7):

Myth: If you're experiencing heartburn during pregnancy, your baby will be born with a full head of hair.

Reality: Fact! In July 2007, researchers at Johns Hopkins released a study showing that a connection between heartburn and newborn hair does exists. The study followed 64 women throughout pregnancy. Each participant ranked their severity of heartburn and when their babies were born, two independent observers rated the thickness of the newborn hair. Seventy-eight percent of the pregnant women reported some level of heartburn, and of the 28 women who reported moderate to severe heartburn, 82 percent gave birth to babies with above average hair thickness. (Of the 12 women who reported no heartburn symptoms at all, 83 percent gave birth to babies with very little or no hair.)

I hope you have your dad's hair. It's so beautiful. I was born with a headfull of dark, thick hair (I know, it's hard to imagine... everyone called me a little Native baby bc I had such dark skin too!) so I wouldn't be surprised if you are too. You will be perfect. And worth the heartburn.

And really, if that's all I have to complain about, things are obviously going pretty well.

You kick and squirm and move around in there a lot, but Dad has yet to feel anything. It should be no time at all before he can feel you because you seem to get stronger every day, sometimes to the point of uncomfortable. But it's really the most amazing feeling, the best part about being pregnant in fact. I love it. You certainly bring a piece of joy to my otherwise ordinary Monday!

Love Mom.

Before Nursery Tour

2011-04-26T21:22:00.000-07:00

So. Let's talk nursery (again). I bought a bedding set for the crib and it's COMPLETELY different than the pictures I had in my head. It's white. Are you aware of my obsession with white? Well now you are. I LOVE white. I may come to regret this decision, but for now, I think it looks great. There is no puke or poop on it at the moment. We'll see if we can keep it that way. (Side thought: Is bleach baby safe?).

Again, I can hear all the Mom's laughing their heads off at my ignorance. Sigh. I like white, okay? A white crib set will be good practice for the baby since we also have a white leather couch set....which was also bought well before baby. Mmhmm. The couch and love seat are also puke and poop-less, so if I can keep that clean, surely I can keep a crib clean?

Well, I'm excited about it, even though it completely changed my plans. Now I'm looking forward to great curtains, a wall papered feature wall and other great textures and details. With color. We found a great turquoise, brown and tan wall paper print the other day that we are seriously considering. Decisions are so nerve racking. But deciding on a wall paper is far less intimidating than deciding on a name for the baby, so whenever I get overwhelmed in the name department, I move on to wall paper.

Realistically, it's not a big room. In fact, I thought I'd give you a little tour of the teeny tiny room that I have big, colorful (even though you can't see it now) plans for.

Keep in mind that up until now, Baby's room has been the "throw everything that doesn't have a place room", and we're having a few issues with some items that do not have a home. Like the bread maker and the dust buster.

Therefore, I have pronounced the room "Baby Only Zone" to help us avoid the clutter.

What a cute onesie!

The wall behind the crib is where I want to do a feature wall with a fun, colorful print.

The window seat I want to add a long cushion (just for looks... not really function).

And obviously we need curtains (and a black out blind).

We love the crib. There is a matching dresser that I adore, but am considering a white dresser from Ikea to save on the cost. Do you think it's okay to mix furniture/finishes?

Simple details.

The picture and obviously the stroller/car seat will not be staying.

This is where I think we'll put the dresser with a change table pad on top

(we're not doing both pieces of furniture).

This old dresser will be replaced. I'd like to put a glider in the corner with an end table and a lamp. Maybe a bookshelf if there is room. And I need to do something with all the diapers. Storage is definitely an issue that will be addressed, hopefully in the closet.

Speaking of the closet... we have some work to do in here. The drawers work okay, but ideally I'd like to put in a shelving unit to accommodate little bitty things.

Lynnel gave me "The Purpose Driven Life" calendar ohhhh, maybe 5 years ago, and I saved these two prints from it (I actually have one more, so I might frame it as well if I feel like I need three). We bought white frames from Ikea last weekend, and I simply love them. They have beautiful quotes by Max Lucado about how God has a purpose and plan for your life.

Perfect for baby.

More of the bedding. Did I mention I like white? Hmm.

This little bunny is the very first thing I bought after we found out we were pregnant. Haylie was with me at the time, and she asks me how the bunny is doing. How I love Haylie.

Some things are simply irresistible.

There you have it, the before pictures of Baby's room. To be perfectly honest, I really am not sure how (or if) all my visions of this room will actually happen, but it's fun to dream. I think we have a pretty good starting point.

And note to self: do not take Kevin with you shopping next time. Three hours of shopping on Saturday = complete waste of time. The only thing we bought was lunch. I guess not everyone loves baby nursery shopping. Crazy.

2nd trimester preggo symptoms

2011-04-26T15:08:00.000-07:00

Here's a little bit of the love trimester 2 has brought:

1. Heartburn. UGGGGGH I HATE YOU HEART BURN!!! I basically cuddle with the container of Tums every night. Tums and my glorious body pillow.

2. Round ligament pain. UGGGGGH I HATE YOU SO MUCH ROUND LIGAMENT PAIN!!!

Yesterday was my most painful pregnancy day to date. I attribute that to what I assume was round ligament pain???? Except that it was basically labor. I'm convinced labor couldn't be worse than how I felt yesterday.

And all of you women who have given birth can now pick yourselves up off the floor from laughing. Although if it wasn't round ligament pain, maybe it isn't that funny. Because I was basically dying.
I know. I am such a wimp. Drugs, please?

(Just an update, I am completely fine today, so I'm not too concerned about one bad day of abdominal pain. Should it occur again, it could be a question for health link, just in case it was something more serious).

21 weeks

2011-04-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

pulled out the big guns this week (aka, the SLR camera)

nursery craze

2011-04-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

I am basically obsessed with designing the nursery. I think about it constantly. Unlike Kevin, who last night when asked what his vision for the nursery is (I know, even the question is laughable), said "light tan walls and white hunter douglas blinds". Ahem. Ha ha.

Here are some of my inspiration photos... there are elements from every room that I love, and I'm trying to figure out the common themes to inspire our own baby's room.

Most of these are taken from http://www.ohdeedoh.com/.

What I am loving here is the low placed book shelf for the kiddies... so cute!

I feel like this one doesn't really "go" with the others (too contemporary/modern?) but what I love about it is the wall print is "barely there" - I think it's so cool. I wonder if I could do the same thing with a great print. Maybe even wallpaper....

Our nursery has a window seat, and I love the long cushion that has been placed to make it like a bench.

I think our ledge is higher, and may not work as a bench...but we'll see.

These two prints are from etsy and I absolutely adore them. I'm thinking of ordering them and actually starting from here. I think they are so classic.

Two crib bedding prints I love:

What do you see when you look at these pictures? Are there ANY common themes?

Here's what I'm seeing:

Simple. Vintage. Patterns. Calm. Cozy. Warm. Classic.

We'll definitely be doing this on a tight budget, and the reality of what the room will actually turn into is probably very different than what we're seeing here!

Any thoughts?

20 weeks

2011-04-19T08:03:00.001-07:00

growth spurt, much?

20 weeks (and 1 day)

2011-04-18T12:01:00.000-07:00

I forgot to take a picture yesterday, but I'll try to remember to do so when I get home! It's an important one because it documents the halfway mark! Yikes, this is CRAZY! I've been counting down the weeks by the number of Saturdays we have left baby-less. 19 more Saturdays to go. Unreal.

I am definitely looking more pregnant this week. I know this because there have been several tummy rubs and comments from people (all good. None have been placed on the "do not speak to" list so far). Surprisingly, I have actually been okay with the dreaded tummy touch (FYI: along with the word "placenta" I hate the word "belly". The word"discharge" and ordering your steak "blue rare" also get the same gag reaction from me). So far, all the tummy lovin has come from people I truly love, so I think that's why I'm okay with it. This could change. I'll let you know. I for one, am constantly rubbing my tummy, almost subconsciously. I just want baby to know I'm here. Hi Baby! You're cute!

I can't believe I haven't documented all the movement I have felt over the last couple of weeks. They say it feels like gas or flutters. I think I started feeling that sensation sometime in the 18th week. At that time, I was really hesitant to say for sure that it was the baby moving because I wanted to be sure before I said anything. But in this last week I have felt definite movement, much stronger than air bubbles or flutters. Today in particular I have felt several little kicks. I think he/she wants to come out a with a black belt in kung fu. I think it liked the very delicious breakfast sandwich from Tim Horton's on the way to work this morning (I NEVER stop on my way to work. I'm always too late as it is!). Or at least, I certainly enjoyed it. I went through the drive through in less than 4 minutes, start to finish - unheard of. And now I'm fighting off the urge to go get a Panago pizza from the cafeteria down the hallway.... fricker. I've already eaten lunch! Honestly. Not a good start to the week when I'm already buying lunch (and in today's case, breakfast)!

Annnnd this must be a pregnancy blog if I went from baby kicks to fast food in the same paragraph... both very important topics of discussion to the pregnant ladies of the world!

doctor's update and everything else on my mind (which is a lot).

2011-04-12T15:11:00.000-07:00

So we are 19 weeks and 2 days in, and still feeling pretty good. I can officially get through a day without a cup of coffee which is really a miracle. I normally do drink a cup a day, but every now and then I avoid it. Like today for instance. No coffee. Obviously it's on my mind still though... may need to walk down the hallway to Starbucks......

And I'm back. Forget all that stuff about happily getting through the day without a cup of coffee. All lies. Me and my tall Pike are spending the afternoon together. Blogs are always better written with a cup of coffee in hand.

So as you can see from my pic, I don't seem to be growing out as much as I am growing wide. I think as a "petite" sized lady, I'm eventually just going to be ALL belly, up, down, left, right, everywhere. I'm really looking forward to that. Pretty.

At my last doctor's appointment, I found out I have gained 9 lbs (I have no idea what is "normal"). She practically accused me of dieting. Um, are you KIDDING me? I have never eaten so much in my life. I have noticed in these last few weeks that my appetite has definitely slowed down compared to the first trimester, and I am just eating a normal amount again. So at lunch today, when I downed a delicious chicken souvlaki pita, I didn't feel an ounce of guilt. Dieting my butt! Tzatziki..... mmmm.

I learned a couple other things at my appointment last week. First of all, you know the whole low-lying placenta? It's all good now. Moved up where it should be. Good job, P! (I hate saying that word).

Second of all, the tech noticed something a little strange at the ultrasound that she did not mention to me (grr). She wrote in her report that for almost a full minute, the baby's heartbeat slowed down considerably. My doctor explained that it's completely normal that the fetal heartbeat go up and down, consistently, within seconds of each other, but a minute or longer is not normal. So when doc and I listened together (I still can't believe it every time I hear it!), we listened for a nice long while. It was lovely. The heartbeat was fairly consistent throughout that minute and my doctor told me not to worry about this, and that they will just continue to monitor it. So worry I won't. Butttttttt I still worry just a little bit, of course. I felt like I didn't really get a good explanation as to what the implications of this were, so I guess it's something I'll have to ask at my first OB appointment which is on May 11th. Because Dr. Google isn't SUPER reassuring on the topic :)

A lot of people have asked me if we are getting another ultrasound to find out the sex. I think we've decided we're okay with not knowing. Kind of anyway. We're okay enough to not pay the $170 to do the 3D ultrasound at least. It's kiiiiiiiiind of fun not knowing. As of right now, there are no medical reasons to have another ultrasound, but that could change. I will bring it up with the new OB in May.

I'm quite excited about being referred to real OB. It's like another step towards baby being here! I'm also very happy with who I got in with - I've heard amazing things about him, and Rate My MD is very positive :) I love the internet.

This past weekend, I was basically panicking that we have NOTHING for the baby. I really want to be buying stuff now so that we're not in complete money chaos in August when I go on maternity leave. Mat leave.... ohhhhhh you are a beautiful beautiful thing. Anyway, so I paroozed the aisles of Walmart and loaded up.... a package of diapers, a huge pack of wipes/refills, soothers, a preemie onesie that I couldn't resist (for 5-8 lbs... I figured one wouldn't hurt!), little booties, a car seat cover for the winter, vaseline, baby wash and lotion, diaper rash cream. Everything was on sale which was sweet. I also bought one of those clear set of plastic drawers to put in baby's room for all this STUFF. It's so freaking exciting. I'm dying to go to Superstore to check out the Joe baby line.... and a brand new Carter's/Osh Kosh just opened up in South Common - perfect timing.

Then I headed over to Toys R Us because my Mom informed me they were having a sale too. Kevin likes things on sale! And I bought a stroller/car seat. Without Kevin there, and without even RESEARCHING. I thought buying a stroller was going to be a huge deal for me....I've already spent a few hours looking up the BEST of the BEST strollers, and determined that no amount was too much to spend on a good stroller. $450? $600? No problem. Anyway in reality, I just couldn't actually spend that much, and Toys R Us had a really great Eddie Bauer set that I just love the look of, for $150 off the regular price.

Yes, now I realize it's turquoise and brown which I am a teeeensy bit worried about. Is it too boy if we end up with a girl??? Too late if it is. I figure as long as I insist on it being turquoise, and not BLUE, then it is completely legit for a girl. Turquoise is pretty. There is a matching play pen and high chair which we'll consider getting too... I like things to match. Matching is fun. If we ever have two girls or two boys, they will always match, just like Jenna and I did. You can see what that does to two children.... they grow up complete opposites of each other! So I will match my children in order for them to grow up with their own identities. I should write a thesis on this.

I actually wouldn't make them match, FYI. But maybe just once. At Easter time. In pink ruffly dresses and I will roll their hair in pink fuzzy dry rollers and make them sleep on it. HA. I'm so getting my mother back by doing this to my own children.

The end!

19 weeks

2011-04-11T16:06:00.000-07:00

I seem to be showing wide, rather than out, much to my dismay!

Things I have learned since getting knocked up

2011-04-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

1. I cannot pee on demand.
2. Dairy Queen closes at 10 pm, and does not accommodate 10:04 pm appearances from pregnant ladies.
3. Buying regular clothing in a size L does not work.
4. Babies cost a lot of money.

coming to terms with surprise

2011-04-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

Dear little Monkey,

I am not a HUGE fan of anticipation. I like surprises, but I only want to wait for a surprise, oh say, a maximum of one week. The anticipation just kills me. So yesterday when we went in for our ultrasound to see you, I had had quite enough of the wondering. I was done with the big surprise and was 100% convinced that we would leave knowing whether or not to call you "he" or "she" for the next 4.5 months (the rest of our lives actually).

Ummmm. Thanks a lot. I love you little baby boo, but seriously? You had your very cute little back turned to us, and on top of that, you had your hands over your little face the entire time! So not only could the tech not tell us if we should call you Sally or Joe, she wasn't able to get us a very good picture of you at all. We came home with a blurry side profile face pic and a very cute picture of your little feet. You have 5 toes on each foot. Check! I actually watched you kick me (but didn't feel anything....your kicks are wimpy). YOU ARE A MONKEY! A sweet sweet monkey.

A lot of people have different views on this whole "finding out" issue. I get it. I had previously maintained that I would not find out what we were having. I imagined this whole dramatic scene where the doctor lifted our newborn baby in the air (think Lion King), announcing "It's a _____!!!!" to a room of cheering professionals (there will not be ANY extra, unnecessary people in that room thank you very much. Kevin will be lucky if I let him in there). (Ok, I'm not that dramatic). Yeah. That all changed the moment I found out we were having you. I have to know. I will absolutely die if I don't know. I'm surprised I haven't died already.

I get that it will be so exciting to wonder and wonder and WONDER about you for the next few months, and that moment when you are born will be so wonderful. Our friend KA described it as "the most memorable moment of my life" - and I know it will be the same way for us. You are a surprise worth waiting for. Even though surprises are completely exhausting.

So I suppose I will spend the next 4.5 months buying gender neutral onesies, light brown, green and yellow nursery decor and hold off on all the extremely cute summer dresses that I would be all over (buying them in size "1 year" of course). I figure we'll save a little bit of money, since you probably would have been born with a wardrobe for an entire year had we known.

So little love, that's that for now. You decided for us, and I just have to live with it. And hopefully learn to love the idea. But you can't be mad if you're born a boy and I couldn't resist the pink frilly curtains or if you're a girl and your nursery is decorated with lions and tigers and bears. I actually have a vision of the baby's room and it's pretty gender neutral... I'll write all about it here soon. And I would never EVER give you frilly curtains. Ugh. Frills, ribbons and lace? No thank you. Well, maybe a little bit of lace. In moderation. Provided you're a girl.

Come to think of it, Auntie Jenna and I shared a room for many many years, and we lived in white canopy beds with pink bedding and lots of lace and swooshy material. I hated it at the time, but it's pretty cute thinking back. Those canopy beds were like princess beds. Adorable.

Anyway, I'm back to calling you "baby, she, he, it" and am going to decide to be excited with the surprise. Here's to hoping.

You little stinker.

By the way, I've now changed my mind - you are obviously a girl. With an attitude like that, you are definitely a girl, and you are definitely mine. And I love you.

What's for Lunch

2011-04-04T11:25:00.000-07:00

I had two leftover options for lunch today:

Meatballs and Rice
Creole Chicken with Shrimp and Scallops (from The Keg)

I chose the meatballs. The thought of the chicken just grossed me right out this morning.

I have now taken two bites out of the meatballs, and I feel like puking. This is ridiculous. Weird what pregnancy hormones will do to you! I can't seem to go wrong with a deli sandwich (despite all the controversy over eating deli meat)... where is Subway when I need it?

Last night at 10 pm I also ate two delicious pieces of cold Ham and Pineapple pizza. It was a beautiful moment in my day.

That is all.

18 weeks

2011-04-03T12:19:00.000-07:00

life before baby

2011-03-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Baby,

I have tried to imagine my Mom and Dad's life prior to me and I find it really hard to. I figure that life for them really began when they had me! So I think YOU should have an idea of our lives before you were born... I am so glad I have kept a blog for so many years because that documents SO much of the last 8 or so years. All my childhood diaries were swept away in a basement flood in 2007 or so. Even my own baby book was ruined by it, which is very sad now that I'm about to have you. It would be so great to compare.

Anyway, life before baby. Life right now. As for what we DO, we seem to be constantly busy. I'm secretly looking very forward to having an excuse (you) to say no to all kinds of things next year! I love everything we're a part of, but working all day and then going out 3-5 evenings/week makes me so exhausted (even if it's socializing)! Your dad loves it - he could be out every night of the week, and as long as he gets a good nights sleep, he could do it all over again. He loves to be around people, and he is happy to be busy. This winter/spring he is playing with both a hockey league (this just ended) and an indoor football league. Most of his games are at ridiculous hours of the night, Saturday nights at 11:45, or sometimes he'd play hockey at 9 pm and football at 11:30 pm. He then comes stumbling home at 2 am which always wakes me up (my favorite), and then stays up til 3 am because he can't sleep after all that adrenaline. Other than sports, he leads two small groups, is currently hosting a marriage seminar (with me) on Monday nights, and still finds time to volunteer here and there (he often takes his small group to the Ronald McDonald house to spend an evening, and few times a year he volunteers downtown at an event called "Homeless Connect"). Not to mention church is basically an all day affair on Sundays (minus the few hours in the afternoon that he watches whatever sports he can find). If he could, I think he would join a slow pitch team this spring, but it's a pretty big commitment and I think he'll say no. Oh, and he is also in the middle of taking a class working towards his masters degree.Your dad is crazy. I hope he slows down a bit when you come too!

As for me, I'm hosting the marriage seminar Monday nights, choir on Tuesday nights and host a young marrieds small group at our house on Thursday nights. This year I said no to being in the Easter Musical at church which was a hard decision, but such a relief to not have to worry about all the time that goes into it. By Friday I'm basically ready to die, and usually fall fast asleep on the couch by 9 pm. Saturdays, I shop, clean the house, nap, catch up on TV, etc.... and we usually try to get together with friends or have a date night. Sunday is church... all day for your Dad, and sometimes all morning (literally... 8 am - 12 pm) for me if I'm on worship team that morning. In the afternoon I read or sleep. Sunday nights I try to save for "me" time. I LOVE me time. When you come, it will be me and you time.... I guess all the time will be me and you time! Sundays I usually write up a meal plan for the week and get groceries. Before I got pregnant, I was very faithful with this. I even got into baking on Sunday nights too, to have a treat for the week. Now, not so much. I am barely getting meal plans done and usually sending your Dad for groceries on Monday (his day off). Lately I've been adding all kinds of chores to his "day off list" and I feel kinda bad that his day off sucks...getting groceries, cleaning up, laundry, car stuff, bank stuff, basically everything that I don't get to. And he does it, with barely any complaining :)

That's what we DO (besides working...whole other story). What we "do" is obviously such a huge part of life, but it's not really what we "are". What we are is sooo many things... We are happy, we are truly in love. We love to laugh and be silly and just be. I love being with your dad, even if we are just sitting and watching tv. Your dad is smart and insightful and thoughtful and faithful and extremely loyal. He is analytical, down to earth and very practical. He is the most generous person I have ever met, but not always the most patient. He doesn't make rash decisions. He's a saver, not a spender (opposite of me...I like to bring balance to the relationship). He's very competitive and loves to play games. And he always wins which is super annoying. He loves me. He works hard to maintain our marriage and knows how to be a good listener (once he fell asleep waiting for me to tell him "what was wrong" - that didn't go over so well, but it hasn't happened since!). He helps me SO much, not just around the house, but with everything - when I'm overwhelmed, when I'm sad, when I'm being ridiculous. He has a huge heart. He always thinks he's right, but he'll consider my point if I disagree, and think it over thoroughly... and sometimes will come back to tell me that I am right after all :) He can't wait to have a family, and he has so much love to give to you.

My memories of our first couple years of marriage are so good... we were practically giddy in love, living this fantasy life on Vancouver Island, away from all our family and only had each other (and the rain).... I think of our wonderful weekend getaway to Tofino... having coffee and cinammon buns at the bakery and window shopping in our quaint little town....walking & shopping all through downtown Victoria (my fav city in Canada)... hiking in the rainforest (ok hardly hiking, but still, we were outdoors a lot!). I think of our first Christmas alone together and it was so special. I burnt the ham (in the slow cooker, how does that even happen?) and we ran out of milk and bread... So I made bread in the breadmaker and we put on our snow pants and trudged through the un-REAL amount of snow to Carlos' corner store to pick up a $5 jug of milk (that's expensive btw). I think of our little townhouse that I loved and hated, our huge bedroom (compared to what we have now), and tiny kitchen. And funny laminate flooring running every which way. We had a small, but close, group of friends, some living just a few doors away, others living right on the edge of the beautiful ocean... We were each others family. Seriously, such good years, and I worry that I wished them away too quickly. Although in truth, I think my memory decieves me and life is probably just as good now - just very different in Edmonton. We definitely don't spend quite as much time outside!

Anyway, back to your dad.... he is so excited to meet you. I think he is going to be an incredible dad. I think he'll be the discipliner of the two of us... he'll definitely be the strict one. But somehow he'll probably pull off being the fun one too and I'll just be left making sandwiches for everyone. Sigh... life will be good. Life IS good.

I wonder if you'll be extraverted like your dad, or introverted like me? Time will tell. Whatever you are, I think you're perfect. I just really hope you're not as into fantasy football as your dad. Because I'm not sure how much more of that I can handle.

Love Mom :)

17 weeks

2011-03-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

A mixture of baby at 17 weeks and too many cheese and crackers.

Old Wives Tales

2011-03-25T08:59:00.000-07:00

Swinging/Circular Ring & String Test: Completed with Alison Leontaridis, believer, living proof, and advocate of Ring/String test: BOY

Heartbeat (over 140 = girl; under 140 = boy): Heartbeat: 159 and 150 at last two check ups: GIRL

Feeling in my heart: BOY

No morning sickness: GIRL

Chinese Gender Prediction Chart: GIRL

Any other old wives tales I should know about?

Here's to hoping we find out in less than two weeks! April 5th can't come soon enough.

This chart is an ancient Chinese secret and can be used to predict the sex of an unborn child some believe. The chart was buried in a tomb near Beijing for 700 years.

To figure out your child's sex, simply find the mothers age along the top row, and the month of conception down the left hand column. By finding the woman's age plus nine months and then following the column to the month of conception, you can easily determine what gender your child will be.

According to studies the Chinese Birth Chart has been 97% effective in predicting a baby's sex! Have some fun and see what the Chinese Pregnancy Calendar tells you!

The story behind the Chinese calendar

One of the most exciting things about being pregnant is finding out what gender your baby is. Whether you ask your ultra sound technician to give the secret away or if you decide to wait until your eventual meeting, the moment that you learn if you're having a son or a daughter is very special. In the meantime, a lot of women and their partners pass the time amusing themselves with online quizzes or tests to help determine their baby's sex. Most of these are based on old wives tales such as how particular cravings or weight gain can determine gender. Obviously these test are almost always incorrect. However, one of these amusements is eerily accurate and has been used by many couples throughout centuries: the Chinese Gender Prediction Calendar.

Discovered in a royal tomb near Peking, the calendar was inscribed on a tablet that is dated as being over seven hundred years old. This means that centuries of women and their husbands relied on it to give them some sort of idea what to expect on the delivery date. By finding the woman's age plus nine months and then following the column to the month of conception, you can easily determine what gender your child will be. Although many people believe that the calendar is ninety-nine percent accurate, it's not by any means scientifically sound and while enjoying its novelty, you should refrain from taking it too seriously.

Source: http://www.mypregnancyguide.com/pregnancy-calendar

16 weeks

2011-03-21T08:10:00.000-07:00

16 weeks. And 17 years.

2011-03-20T14:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Baby,

Yesterday Daddy was hanging out with one of our former youth kids from Ladysmith, who was visiting family in Edmonton. It was his 17th birthday. Um, if Josh is 17, then I must be old, because wasn't I just 17 yesterday? Sometimes it feels like it. I told him, "Josh, the next 10 years are going to be some of the best years of your life so far - but they are going to go sooooooo fast." He politely listened to me as nice, young, well brought up boys do, but I know there's no way he could reaaaaaalllly get what I was saying. I wouldn't of cared if some old lady had told me that at 17 - I would've thought, "You're old. I'm going to be 17 forever." And proceed to move on with my awesome life.

Because 17 - 27 WAS awesome. I gained independence. I made some money (and spent it, quickly). I traveled the world. I had my heart broken a few times. I bought my first car. I graduated from high school, completed a year of Bible College, and then finished off with a 4 year University degree. I fell in love with my husband. I moved to the beautiful West Coast, and I got my first real job. I moved into my first house, and bought my 2nd house with the man I love.

17 - 27 = the best years of my life.

Until now. 6 months from now I'm going to meet you. Someone recently said to me that motherhood is the proudest accomplishment a woman can have. I'm not sure mothering can ever be considered "accomplished" which implies completion - but I intend to accomplish being a great mom to you every single day of your life. I know I will fail somedays, and I'm a little nervous. Mainly because I know what a brat I was (notice how this post skips the 11-16 years? There's a reason for that. For another post. One that I need to write mostly for myself for when you are there). I am so blessed to have a Mom and Dad who loved me so much through my spoiled brat years, who never gave up on me, who thought I was amazing even when I was not so amazing. Even though Papa still refers to the years 11 -14 as literally "thossssee years." I am thankful for your Nana and Papa who loved me so much when I made wrong choices in the 17 - 27 years, and supported me even when it killed them. I hope to parent just like they did.

But now I realize at 28, I'll actually be starting the best years of my life: meeting you, and your siblings to come. Growing our family. Loving you and supporting you and getting to know you. Seeing your personality. Watching you discover your talents and your strengths, and even your weaknesses. Laughing with you and crying with you. Disciplining you (but you'll be perfect, right??). We have so much life to look forward to. It's a scary world you're entering into, but your Dad and I desire to teach you how to make right choices, be strong in your convictions, and love the Lord with all your heart. So that you can handle whatever comes your way. And we will be so proud of you.

Even though I'll be a little bit old. The next 10 years are going to rock it.

Love, Mom.

just a little placenta talk

2011-03-17T12:30:00.000-07:00

I had a doctor's appointment this morning to discuss the results of my ultrasound from last week. Of course when I get the call to make this appt, I'm back to being convinced that I'm having twins - maybe the ultrasound tech isn't allowed to tell me anything, and they leave it up to the doc to give news like that? Hmmm?

Definitely no twins. I finally believe that now.

It turns out I have a low-lying placenta. Placenta - the 2nd part of birth that they don't tell you about. Oh the things that get discussed when you're pregnant! Anyway, it's nothing to be super alarmed about (although when I dr. googled it, this normally happens to COCAINE USERS which was slightly alarming!). It's simply something that will have to be monitored and will likely correct itself in the next few weeks. If it does not correct itself, then there is a higher chance that I would have to go on bedrest in the last few weeks and very likely have a c-section birth (if it is so low that it covers the cervix, the baby wouldn't be able to be born naturally. Right now it is only 1 cm from my cervix. Weird.). I know what to watch for and know what to do if that happens. The worst case scenario would be that the placenta could detatch itself from the wee little one, and that would be much more serious. At the moment, this doesn't affect the baby at all, so that is what is most important. The fact that I haven't had any bleeding or cramping whatsoever is a good sign, and the doctor told me not to be concerned. Just informed. And thus, I inform you, fellow blog followers.

I love doctors appointments. A. I get to sleep in. B. I get to hear baby's heartbeat every time (150 today!). and C. I get to sleep in. Sleeping in gets 2 out of 3 of those perks, it's true. I was weighed again, and haven't gained any weight since my last appointment two weeks ago, which was nice to hear. In fact, according to my weight today, I've only gained 6 lbs (then again, today's weigh in was pre-Sweet Tart binge...). I hope baby is getting enough to eat... I'm assuming this would be another sign that something could be wrong? I do not know. I do not know. For now I will continue to trust that everything is a-okay!

Back to my Sweet Tarts. Thank you to my dear friend Kim who bought me a lifetime supply! I love my friends!!!

Showing...

2011-03-16T07:40:00.000-07:00

Well here it is. The first pictures, at 15.5 weeks. If you didn't believe me before, you will now.

Yikes. I don't know why I took these just moments after getting all ready for bed, but whatev, they aren't going on facebook. These are just for you, friends.

I'm having a harder time with this than I expected! I mean, I'm pregnant. For the first time in my life, weight gain (in the right places) is not only to be expected, but it's celebrated! But instead, I have found these first few months to just be awkward. I have been doing everything I can to hide what is so obviously (to me) growing. I constantly compare myself at 15 weeks to other women at 20 weeks who don't look as preggo as I do. It's kind of ridiculous, I know. Stop being so insecure, self!

But now, on the brink of 4 months pregnant, I think I'm finally coming to terms with this new, quickly changing body of mine. I continually remind myself that every woman is different, and the way our bodies change in pregnancy cannot really be compared. Let's also remember that I'm, well, on the petite side. There's not many options for the baby, and other "things" to go. Except for out. And out they are going!

I started this pregnancy at around 135 lbs. At 15 weeks, I've gained 8 lbs. Meh. Not terrible, not great. A few weeks ago, I started going to the gym three times a week with two other pregnant girls at work on our lunch break. We're definitely not being hardcore - um, I haven't worked out in monnnnnttttthhhhhhhhhs - and it's funny that it's taken a pregnancy to get me back in the gym. But I feel great about it. Kevin's chiropractor told him that women who exercise during pregnancy cut back their labor time by 4 hours on average. Apparently I'm training for a marathon here (according to this chiro). Wow. My first marathon. I can't wait to find out what my time will be.

Anyway, weekly photos to be expected from here on :)

Avocado - 15 weeks

2011-03-14T08:39:00.000-07:00

Baby cakes is 15 weeks yesterday. It's unreal that in less than a week from now, I'll be 4 months preggo. Babes is about the size of an avocado this week, weighing about 3-5 oz, and measuring 4-5 inches. This little one is starting to hear now, and can probably hear me speaking which I love! Kevin tells the baby every night that he loves him/her, and he tells me and the baby to have a good day each morning. I think the baby has a pretty darn good day every day. I wish I could sleep all snuggled up in a cocoon all day long. Sleeeeeeeeeep, how I long for you. No comments on "get your sleep while you still can" please. I know, I know. (Ok I don't really know in practice, but do know in theory - sleep is going to become an even hotter commodity in the future).

I suppose it's about time to start posting weekly pictures. There's definitely a baby there. I'm in the weird stage where acquaintances awkwardly stare at me funny, and I know what they're thinking: "Has she gained weight? Do I ask if she's pregnant?" I can see the wheels turning. I should just wear a sign: "Yes I am knocked up, stop staring at me." I'm looking forward to being obviously preggo and not just a fatty pants. I'm not looking forward to people asking me, "Are you sure there aren't twins in there?" - I can already hear it coming.

Speaking of twins, when we went for our dating ultrasound last week, the first part of the examination was done without Kevin in the room. Right before the tech left to get Kevin, I asked the guy, "So, there's only one in there, right?" And he responded: "For now." And left the room.

FOR NOW?????? What the crap does that mean? So while I'm waiting for him to return with my husband, I'm totally convinced in the matter of 2.8 seconds that we're having twins. I'm thinking that he just doesn't want to tell me the news without Kevin in the room too. Obviously we are having twins. WHAT? TWINS? Freaking out. I can't afford two cribs! I only have two boobs - won't I need four? I'm not strong enough to push a double stroller, let alone push out two children!!! I'm a wreck.

He comes back in the room, either 2 minutes, or an eternity, later with my husband in hand (not literally, that just sounded nice), and proceeds to show us our baby. Baby. Singular. No mention of his odd comment, no mention of two hearts, no mention of 4 legs. One heart, one head, 2 legs, 2 arms. One tiny baby. I felt too ridiculous to have him confirm his comment, because obviously he'd be showing us two babies... unless he just forgot to tell us that we're having two? No. Let's not go there, mind.

Anyway, I'm going with one baby, who had a heart rate of 159. The "old wives tale" says anything over 140 is a girl - this is my first girl predictor so far! I can't wait to find out! I love the idea of a girl! And I love the idea of a boy! I'm so happy no matter what. But my gut still says boy. Hopefully we'll find out in about 3 weeks! For now, the suspense and guessing is kind of fun. Not fun enough to NOT find out, but fun enough for now.

I love this baby! And I want sweet tarts. I can't find them anywhere. Rawrrrrr.

Mhmm. I think I just roared. That's my cue to end this post.

Naval Orange - 14 weeks

2011-03-10T11:06:00.000-08:00

Ok, no more messing around here. You are REAL. I have proof. I saw you. With Kevin as my witness, you have 2 arms, 2 legs, 1 heart, 1 tummy, 1 head, and 2 eyes. That's all I know. Oh, and you move around A LOT (not that I can feel you - I just saw you). The ultra sound tech could hardly get a good picture because you were moving so much! It was awesome. Definitely another highlight for us! You're also a bit "older" than we originally thought - not two weeks like I was hoping for, but a whole four days. You are now 14 weeks and 4 days old, and your due date is now September 4th. Labour Day Baby? We shall see! I just hope you're not born on Sep 11 - it's too somber of a day for a birthday!

You were still too little to get any pictures, but we are going back to see you in about 4 weeks. Hopefully then we will find out if you are a boy or a girl, and we'll get some pictures!!!

Baby's Introduction to Facebook

2011-03-04T09:48:00.000-08:00

I HEARD YOU!

2011-03-03T11:46:00.000-08:00

I'm having a real baby. I know this because I heard a heartbeat. A real heartbeat. Which means I'm really having a baby. A live one. Oh my goodness!

I totally think I've been playing it pretty cool, not anxious about the baby, knowing everything was okay.... but hearing the heartbeat today was AMAZING, and brought a certain level of relief. We actually did a sound recording of it. I just tried to upload it, and I don't think blogger supports mp4's, so I can't post it. Sad! It's pretty awesome though, and I'm glad we recorded it!

We are actually having a dating ultrasound on Tuesday for a couple reasons: the doctor thinks I'm measuring bigger than I should be for 13 weeks (um, awesome); also, the baby was quite a bit higher up than what is normal for 13 weeks. She thinks we might be 15 weeks! Wow! Update on Tuesday :)

2nd Trimester

2011-03-02T08:43:00.000-08:00

Hellooooo 2nd trimester! Let the glory days begin! I've already had a picture perfect 1st trimester, which makes me think the 2nd will be a dream. Here's to hoping.

We bought a crib this past weekend, and it's already all set up! Here's a picture from the website.

We spent the better part of Saturday shopping around the city for the perfect little bed for baby and I am thrilled with what we came home with. I think it's beautiful. It's so weird because it's already all set up (minus the bedding). That first night I went in to look at it one more time before I went to bed, and when I left the room, I shut the lights out and I got all teary because I could almost imagine doing that with the baby there. It doesn't take much to make me cry these days. Kevin was a trooper and I think he even enjoyed himself. He was quite taken with the jungle themed nurserys (in fact, his favorite was the theme that is used in the picture!). It's cute, but not really what I was thinking. So we'll see about jungle themes. Later.

Tomorrow marks another milestone in this pregnancy: baby's heartbeat. Would it be super lame to do a sound recording at the appointment? I think not. I think this will make everything so real, especially to Kevin who kind of just has to "bond" with baby based on whatever I say is happening. It's not quite the same as being pregnant. Not that I've done much bonding when I feel completely normal :) It's just so hard to believe there is a little life inside of me, another heartbeat! Unreal. We've been waiting for tomorrow for so long, and I just can't wait.

Tomorrow is also a big day because, assuming everything goes well, we'll be telling the world our big news. So fun. CAN'T WAIT!!!

things not to say to the pregnant lady part 1

2011-02-28T11:17:00.001-08:00

"I knew it", "I thought so" & "I could totally tell" - all imply to the pregnant lady that she has gained 3000 lbs and make her want to cry. Use extreme caution when exercising these phrases. Probably don't use them at all.

Why do I have a feeling that this will be a regular column???